...old joke often told by rabbis is that Moses comes down from the mountain carrying the two tablets and says, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is — I got Him down to ten. The bad news is — adultery is still out." Adultery is as old as the human race....

...took his friend, a pea, to the hospital. STRING BEAN: How is he, doc? Can you save his life? DOCTOR: I have good news and bad news. The good news is I can save his life. The bad news is he'll be a vegetable the rest of his life. PATIENT: Nurse, during...

..."Manny," he says, "find out how much they want for that office building." The next day Manny calls Sol and says, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is they only want $27,000,000, and they'll take 25% of this in the form of stock options." "What's the...

...killing me, and I know that I don't have crabs, because I'ma virgin." The doctor checks her out and says, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is you don't have crabs; the bad news is that your cherry rotted and you have fruit flies." A carpet layer...

...great comedy routine. You know, the one where he has Moses coming down to the people and telling them, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is I got Him down to 10. The bad news is adultery is still in." The really good news, though, is that the...

...fascination as his passenger rebounded from dead to very alive. She pulled out her cell phone. "Hi, Sheldon! I have good news and bad news. The good news is I actually did earn a diploma at matchmaking school." "Did?" "Unfortunately, I lost it in a poker game....

...outside, he scratched the back of the sofa!! Automobiles Good - bad Yesterday my son came home and said, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is — I got 18 out of 20 on my driver's test." I said, "Great! Now what's the bad news?" He said, "They were...