hastily dismissed. He determined, therefore, to pay the doctor a visit, in order to obtain free conversation with him upon the subject, and afterwards to request his presence with a few Christian friends in Manchester, where he might have the opinions of those whose judgments he most esteemed, and enjoy the advantage of their united supplications for Divine direction. Thus prudently did this holy man regulate all his affairs, and thus diligently did he seek, and devoutly acknowledge the hand of God in every movement of his life.

In the midst of all this uncertainty, however, his mind, which appears to have recovered its composure in a great degree after his return from Edinburgh, became again the victim of the most distressing depression and anxiety. In a letter from London, in May 1809, he speaks of his enjoyment in the services connected with the Missionary festival that year, and says, "I continue very well, improving still, I hope, both in body and in mind." But, in one dated in October, he refers to himself and his future prospects in language bordering almost upon despondency, as one given over to unprofitable wishes, and whose usefulness was for ever gone.

It is more than probable that there are many persons of equal piety and excellence with Mr. Spear, who would not have been thus agitated and depressed under similar circumstances; and to many who have observed the strength and energy of his mind amidst the more complicated trials and difficulties of commercial life, his present despondency may be an inexplicable circumstance in his character. But the secret of it all was an exquisite, one might almost say, an excessive tenderness of conscience, that induced at length a morbid sensibility of mind, and rendered him like a sensitive plant, shrinking from every suggestion, suspicious of every object, and doubtful of every plan, lest in the least degree he should think, or speak, or act contrary to the will of God. To this, together, perhaps, with the latent influence of disease, must be traced that tinge of melancholy which mingled with the glow of his devotion, and cast a sombre hue on the lustre of his character, and the brightest of the closing scenes of his earthly pilgrimage.

He visited Rotherham in November, and thus writes during his stay there:

"I am now in very good health, and in tolerable spirits, and I hope somewhat refreshed by the conversation and unreserved consultation which I have had this morning with

Dr. Williams, upon the very interesting topic connected with my visit. I have unreservedly told him all my mind, in relation to the important matter, and he has very freely, indeed with equal frankness, expressed himself thereon. As the result thereof, and at my suggestion, he has promised to pay me a visit, or rather meet me and a few friends in Manchester, to enter into a free and impartial review with him, of all circumstances connected with the matter under consideration. Perhaps this meeting may take place in the course of a fortnight, or thereabout: in the meantime, I trust that I shall in a great measure be delivered from that unhappy state of mind, arising from the uncertainty of my future destiny, to which I have hitherto been subject. O that the Lord may succeed this measure with his especial blessing, and cause the most happy effects to result therefrom, personally and relatively."

The final determination respecting Rotherham was in the negative. London was then spoken of by some of his friends; but he does not appear ever to have seriously entertained the idea of settling in the neighbourhood of the metropolis. At length, after repeated visits, much serious deliberation, and fervent prayer, he finally decided for Edinburgh, and removed thither with his family in August, 1816. We shall close the history of this removal with a few extracts from his letters relating to it, in which all that tenderness of conscience, and that anxiety to ascertain and do the will of God, already alluded to, is most strikingly illustrated; together with a selfabasement of soul, and an ardour of devotion, the contemplation of which must awaken the sympathy of every pious heart.

"With regard to myself I do feel as though I should become the offscouring and filth of all things. My depravity, and the world, and Satan prevail so against me, and I am so obdurate and insensible, that nothing affects me as it ought to do. In the morning I say, ' Would God it were evening!' and in the evening, Would God it were morning!' My poor, distracted, and irresolute heart is at times ready to break. Oh! that I could be persuaded what to do, and where to go!"

How much, in the midst of all his anxiety and depression of mind, his heart was set upon doing good, and how wise and judicious were the methods of his benevolence, may be seen in the following extract, which, (as also the last), is from a letter dated 'Edinburgh.'

"I send you by Mr. T. a quantity of tracts, of which

VOL. I.-NO. I.

you already have had copies: near 20,000 of them have been distributed in this city and around it, by two men who have been engaged for the purpose. They sometimes stood in the principal places of resort; upon Change, near the Post Office, at the entrance into the College, &c. Perhaps you can induce some of our Christian friends to cooperate with Mr. B. Mr. R. and yourself, in adopting something like this in Manchester. I would not prescribe how or where, nor do I expect that you would confine yourselves to these tracts. Others more suitable, or more congenial, in some respects, to the meridian of Manchester, would easily be drawn up, though I must say, I think you cannot get a better model than these; they are so short, and yet so comprehensive, and so evangelical. However, you and my good friends in Manchester will do something, I hope."

In another from the same place, after referring to a merciful deliverance from fire, which his family had experienced, during his absence from them, he says,

"If I were to be rewarded by the Lord according to my fears and unbelief, I should certainly receive nothing at his hands, but sorrow, lamentation, and mourning, here and for ever. My fears, though not now so much respecting my final security, are at times equal to what you have witnessed. I indeed feel myself to be one of the vilest of the children of men. Now and then, for a few moments, I am delivered from these fears, and whenever this is the case, I think they will never return. But alas! for me, I am poor, and wretched, and miserable, without the light of God's countenance shine into my heart, without the Holy Ghost take of the things of Christ and shew them to my mind, without I get a believing view of the boundless love and grace our Redeemer! O Lord, increase our faith! is a prayer that we all need to present to the throne of grace, continually." In another he writes,

of

"It is my distress that I cannot discharge my duties to my fellow sinners and Christians, and that my heart is so insensible of the Divine goodness. I can truly say, that I would be holy, that I would be perfect as God is perfect." After a severe paroxysm of his complaint, on one occasion

he

says,

"May the Lord prepare me, by these intimations of my approaching change, for that which I hope will release me from all sin and suffering, and present me faultless before the throne of God. Amen and Amen."

Under date, Edinburgh, Jan. 31, 1811, he writes,

"I have given the important matter as to my future residence all the consideration and deliberation in my power, and I have sought direction in prayer until my applications there seem to me to be mere formality. Sometimes my unbelieving heart suggests that it is in vain to seek the Lord any longer. Thus I am exercised from day to day, hoping and expecting that some new light will break out to direct me what to do. My affections and many considerations call me loudly back again. My own personal improvement and the education of my family cannot be promoted more any where in the whole world, I imagine, than in this place. My health and spirits, for the most part, are certainly better here than they have been for many winters past. These almost keep my mind at times in a state of perfect equilibrium."

Notwithstanding the seclusion in which he lived during his residence at Millbank, his mind did not sink into inactivity, nor was he at all the victim of that listlessness which many feel who suddenly retire from business to comparative solitude. His correspondence was extensive; and whatever time the claims of his family and his epistolary intercourse with his friends left unoccupied, was filled up with reading. His selection of books was judicious, chiefly of a religious cast, while his interest in the cause of Christ led him to peruse with great avidity those publications which record its progress at home and abroad. A country life presented also opportunities for the exercise of benevolence which he did not fail to improve. He supported many schools in the neighbourhood for rescuing the children of the from ignorance and profligacy; and was the means of planting a Christian Church, which soon amounted to fifty members, and of supplying them with a stated pastor. They were accommodated on his premises while he continued at Millbank, and now meet in a village about a mile distant, in an endowed chapel, formerly occupied by the Socinians.

poor

Mr. Spear was a man of keen sensibility, capable of strong attachments, and ardent in his friendships: although the astonishing command which he had over himself seldom allowed him to betray the inward workings of his mind by any outward expression of his countenance; and when he did throw his feelings into his look, as was sometimes the case, when any presumed to trifle with religion, or attempted to impose upon the credulity of others, in his presence, that look was such as few ever had the hardihood to withstand; and many have been awed by his expressive silence, who would have braved the sharpest rebukes of other men. But this self-controul by no

means impaired the sensibilities of his nature: his was a tender heart; and in seasons of affliction he neither suppressed the inward sympathy, nor the outward expression of it. He could weep with those that weep, and rejoice with those that rejoice.

It was not, therefore, without the most poignant feelings, that he separated himself from the scenes of his early association and the friends of his youth, to become a resident in the northern metropolis. The following passage in a letter to some friends in Liverpool, written shortly after his arrival, will fully justify this declaration:

may

"I trust that the Lord will crown this expatriation, as it be called, with his blessing; for,' except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it.' If I may draw any inference safely from my inmost feelings, my secret breathings ever since I came here, I may take great courage, to say the least. But I am now quite willing to be tried for the step which I have taken; the Lord knows with many an aching heart, after great searching of heart after my motives, and eyes dissolved in tears at the thought of breaking away from my dear and highly valued friends in England, &c. &c. I will leave my cause with him who knoweth the way that I take."

"The

In a letter addressed to one of his sisters, when tending the death-bed of another sister at West Bromwich, he says, distance we are removed from each other, together with the present state of my family, preclude me from mingling my sorrows and tears with you and Brother H- in any other way than by letter. This however, I admit, makes a stronger call upon me in this way to afford all the sympathy and condolence I possibly can and I am most willing to discharge this mournful duty as time and opportunity, and the grace of God shall enable me."

In Edinburgh his time was occupied much in the same way as at Millbank, so far as reading and correspondence were concerned. He had larger opportunities, indeed, of improving his own mind, by intercourse with the wise and good who inhabit that city; and these he endeavoured, as much as possible, to cultivate, though he went but little abroad; while his generous and affectionate heart ever furnished employment for his pen, or suggested to him the means and the opportunities of doing good. Of this striking feature in his character, his life furnished many illustrations, though we can but select one exhibited a short time previous to his leaving England.

In the summer of 1814, Mr. Spear spent several weeks