and if a rofe appears once in an age, it is almoft a miracle. In the fpring indeed, some false pleafures fpring up; but in the fummer, you fee repentance; in the autumn, calamities without number, troubles without end; and in winter, nothing but defpair. Men lay all the diforders at the womens doors, and thefe at the mens; but in truth both are guilty; they enter upon the state hand over head, without prudence, and fo live in it without fatisfaction. The very feed of difcord is often fown before the contract is finifh'd, and if thorns are planted, what hopes of gathering grapes?

Interest alone for the most part has the management of all matches: reafon has feldom a vote, or even a place in the confult; and, what is worse, the parties themselves often chufe (as well as contract) by proxy: they are fold by their parents, by inch of candle, to the highest bidder; affection, piety, good-nature, parity of age, are only flung into the fcales, when the ballances hang even; one thousand pounds more attones for one thousand ill qualities; and as many good ones make no compenfation for a penny lefs. In fine, matrimony is a fair, where rational creatures (like beasts) are rated, and fold to the highest bidder. We live no more in an iron age; Saturn's golden days are returned, and Christians adore calves (if made of gold) as well as the Ifraelites in the defart. Confcience, religion, happiness in this world, together with that in the other, are fquared by the only rule of intereft. Let a lady poffefs all the advantages of her fex, if her portion comes not up to her endowments, the may die a veftal. So that men court not women, but money; and should therefore be married to the mountains of Potofi, or to the diamond mines of Golconda. What wonderful misfortunes wait on marriages, ftruck up upon fo unchriftian a view as avarice? Money may purchase grimace, but not af

fection.

fection. Hearts are given, not bought: it may gild averfion, but cannot ftifle it. Love often ends in difguft, and you may as foon ftrike fire out of ice, as love out of hatred.

Others take counfel merely of the eyes; they run to matrimony (like Turks or Saracens) to gratify paffion. But alas! this fenfe is unfit for the employment; it only skims the surface, and hovers about colour and figure: now a fine complexion is not always the index of a fair difpofition, nor charming features of a beautiful foul: tho' fhe be angel without, fhe may be fiend within. A tempeftuous heart often lies under the cover of a ferene face, and ill nature under that of a fmooth brow.

But befides, love, that goes no farther than the fkin, is fhort-lived; for, barring cafualties, it withers within a few years, and fets in loathfome deformity; and then, when the caufe of love ceases, love must expire, or end in averfion; for there is feldom found a mean between a great love, and an extraordinary hatred.

But again, if the husband has fmall means, and the wife no portion, if children increase, poverty will grow upon them, and cares will multiply with the family. Now in this perplexity, the romantick paffion will flag, and neceffity will furnish leifure to furvey their folly with coolness and temper; then one lays the fault on the other, accufations thicken with complaints, and these degenerate into coldness, and end in difguft; patience is the only remedy for fuch diseases; yet it is never applied.

Pitch therefore upon the beft methods prudence can fuggeft, when you make a choice: what connot be undone, muft not be done without caution when the obligation runs for life, confultation and prudence must be proportioned. Parents have no right to awe and menace children into matches (for which they have a mortal averfion) merely to

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fupport a finking family, or to improve its revenues; and children have no obligation to plunge themfelves into misfortunes, out of complaifance to interested parents: fatisfaction on foot is preferable to difcontent in a coach and fix, and a fmall eftate with pleafure, to a dukedom with chagrin.

But if parents must not force a child's inclination, a child muft not fail to ask their advice. Nature demands this duty, as well as prudence: they are fuppofed to be better acquainted with the world, to have entered further into people's conftitutions, and to be less fubject to overfights. Besides, in an advanced age, paffion is more cool and fedate, and by confequence more fit for deliberation; whereas youth is green, giddy, headftrong, and hurried on by rafhness fo that both duty and interest oblige young people to confult their parents, before they conclude a bufinefs of fo great concern.

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Enter upon marriage like a Christian, not like a Turk, or favage Indian. He, who begins it irreligioufly, will continue in it with infidelity. God will fcarce drop a bleffing on that couple, that engages with a curfe.

Obedience is the firft duty of a wife. Let the wife fee that he obey her husband, fays St. Paul; and that of the husband a tender affection for his wife. Husbands, love your wives. He must cherish her as his companion, not treat her as his slave, and use his power with sweetness, not empire. Seeing nature has made woman a fubject, fhe reverses the order of providence, if the contends for fovereignty and if fhe has a mind to command, the fureft way is, to obey.

Tho' we love not always those we admire, we admire always thofe we love; for love is founded in fome excellence, either real or imaginary; and when this opinion ceafes, love takes wing, and flies away. Now because the liberty of a married ftate, and

continual

continual conversation, discover faults on both fides, each must look on the perfections of the other, and contemplate thofe through magnifying, the other through diminishing glaffes. In this cafe, artifice is wisdom, and to over-reach one's felf, prudence; and remember you are in this world, where evil waits on good, and thorns fpring up with rofes: every plant has its worm, every beauty its fpot, and the most accomplish'd creature its imperfections; men and women without defects are only found in heaven among the bleffed.

Never break out into mutual reproaches: these fling oil upon the fire, and make faults where there were none; a kind remonftrance well-timed may do good; but a peevish reproach will certainly do harm. Civil wars (they fay) are more mischievous than foreign; but domeftick are more troublesome than both; for when both parties are far engaged, there is no retreat; the war runs on for life; hoftilities may cease for a time, but peace is impracticable. Love once disjointed is feldom fet right.

Fidelity is an obligation equally extended to both parties, and cannot be broken without two crimes, impurity and injuftice. Tho' the hufband be fuperior, he is fubject to this duty; for fex can be no warrant for a crime; nay, in fome manner, the obligation lies heavier on him, because his reafon is fuppofed stronger, and his paffions weaker: and befides, being head of the family, he must inftruct it. Now a husband never teaches chastity more effectually than when he keeps it.

As modefty is the greatest ornament of a woman, fo chastity is her obligation alfo; and if the keeps clear of foreign love, fhe will be fenced against all temptation. She must therefore guard her fenfes ; for the poison that infects the heart enters in at these avenues. Let her not lend an ear to courtship, nor receive flattery without difdain: thefe difcourfes,

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like

like magical charms, raise the devil of love, that virtue will scarce conjure down: they light a fire that will burn her heart in this world, and perchance her foul in the other. She must not make vifits alone had Eve been in Adam's company, the ferpent would not have attack'd her, or at least not defeated her innocence. Who intends no evil, fears not a witness.

Beware of jealoufy: they fay, this monster is the child of love; I am fure it is the mother of a thousand furies that haunt wedlock, that make both parties miferable, tho' both are innocent; it claps both upon the rack, and condemns both to the drudgery of a common centinel like toads or fcorpions, they turn all into poifon. Every caft of the eye, every gefture, every word, are misconftrued, every action paffes for intrigue, artifice, and treafon. These people must be strangely averfe to quiet, who court fo foolishly difcontent, and weary themfelves in queft of that they fear to find.

The one muft have confidence in the virtue of the other, and not suspect the least infidelity, till they have just reafon. Women are often worse for being fufpected bad, but seldom better. It is a terrible temptation to give a husband juft grounds for jealoufy, who is jealous upon fuppofed ones. Revenge has a ftrange afcendant over the fex, if injur'd; and God fend it commits not often real crimes to avenge affronted innocence. The husband must not bar her a decent freedom: fhe may be gay without being wanton, and merry without offence. Some grains must be allowed youth, conftitution, and quality: and let him take this for a maxim, that fome women will live virtuously in company, and others viciously in retirement and folitude.

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