by my coming to you again:" but the Lord only I desire to acknowledge as directing all. I am but of Little Faith, at best; but it is said, "The righteous hath hope in his death :" and I have hope that I shall not be driven from this, nor from what I have felt, seen, and known. Your affectionate father, TO THE SAME. ISAAC BEEMAN. Cranbrook, December 18, 1829. DEAR ISAAC, I hope I may conclude that, by the good pleasure of the Lord, I am better than on Monday or Tuesday. I feel fearful to study closely as yet, but hope he will grant me strength according to my day, till my work is done. I have this witness, that the love of Christ constrained me at first to speak of his name : "Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? then feed my sheep." Neither filthy lucre nor self-applause had any influence in it; his supporting hand hitherto, I hope, is another evidence that I did not run of myself. In 1806, I think it was, I was much worse with my head than now, and was not at chapel, I believe, for six weeks. I remember well, near the time I was first taken, you were sitting by me, in the evening and reading to me the eleventh chapter of John: when you came to these words, "This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God;" I remember, I say, what effect it had on me, and I have never forgotten it. Your affectionate father, TO THE SAME. ISAAC BEEMAN. DEAR ISAAC, Cranbrook, December 20, 1829. My head is weak, but I have borne the exercise of this day better than I expected in the morning. It has been a cold day, with snow, so that we had not so many as at some times; but I had not closed my subject till four o'clock; it was John xvii. 25-26. If life is spared in the flesh, the fruit of my labour, as says Paul, is to testify of Christ, and gain some to him, and for the furtherance of the saints and their joy of faith. Yea, he wished to spend and be spent for them; and his own life, he says, he counted not dear, so he might finish his work with joy. Your affectionate father, ISAAC BEEMAN. DEAR ISAAC, TO THE SAME. Cranbrook, December 28, 1829. -'s I am better, but feel my head very weak still. The weather is severe. I had Mr. Bletter, but can say nothing at present about coming. My text on Christmas-day was Micah v. 2. Though born at Bethlehem, his goings forth were from of old, from everlasting; first, in the part he took in the covenant of grace in behalf of the elect. When this was all fixed and done, another part of his goings forth from of old was in the creation of the world: "Of old hast thou laid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of thy hands." Judah prevails above his brethren, and of him came the Chief Ruler. (Gen. xlix. 8-12, also 1 Chron. v. 2.) And the Lord God has given him the throne of his father David, and he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever, and of his kingdom there shall be no end. Yesterday our subject was Isa. xlii. 1-4: you. would have liked to have been there. Your affectionate father, ISAAC BEEMAN. DEAR ISAAC, TO THE SAME. Cranbrook, January 11, 1830. I am sorry to say that, yesterday at chapel, I felt, as soon as I began, an indisposition something of the same kind as before, though not so bad; but it much decreased my strength, and it was with difficulty that I proceeded. I am more tried in mind this time than the last, on account of its return; submission, however, becomes me; but that is not in my power to exercise without strength from above. To me, at present, the cloud is thick, and as yet I cannot see through it. Something I have to look at which the Saviour has done, but my present feelings are not such as I could wish, though most of my friends think I am better off than themselves; but the heart knows its own bitterness : no affliction is joyous, but if it afterwards yields the peaceable fruits of righteousness, the end is answered. I thank the Lord that, though I was weak yesterday morning, and my voice low, yet that did not confine the Lord's power; one in particular, whom you would not doubt, and I cannot, felt power especial; and one more seemed to eat every word: so that, though I was weak, He was not. I am nothing, He is all. I have a hope I am born never to die, yet many sensations pass through the mind when afflictions come on, and, according to the nature of them, they make various impressions on the heart. . I hope I have entered the wicket-gate at the head of the way, and the discovery of this gate was from heaven, and was given by degrees, first by one scripture and then by another. The Spirit testifies of Christ, takes of his things and shews them to the sinner, and, when faith is granted to lay hold of Christ Jesus, his benefits are just such as the sinner wants: his blood cleanses from all sin; his righteousness answers all demands of the law for obedience, and his death satisfied divine justice and thus Christ gives the heavy laden and troubled sinner rest. And he that thus comes to him he will never cast out: so runs Holy Writ. I can write no more, for want of time. Your affectionate father, TO THE SAME. ISAAC BEEMAN. DEAR ISAAC, Cranbrook, January 18, 1830. I said I was much tried last week, and indeed I was much cast down at times, not knowing how it might be with me another Sabbath-day. (I could see, if my mouth should be stopped in the chapel through weakness, the enemies would say, "Aha! aha! so would we have it.") Many exercises had I in my mind almost the whole week; many fears beset me, whilst many petitions for relief were put up; but unbelief suggested no help would be granted |