of his grace to keep me in the hour of temptagrac tion. I was very sensible of my loss, my crimes and my situation; and often turned aside, where I wept for it as though I had been whipped. I often comforted myself with the thought that I should be of age byand-by, when I should have no one to fear, consequently I should not be tempted to cover my accidents by falsehoods, for fear of punishment. I thought more of this privilege than I did of freedom, or all the other imaginary comforts of life. But I more and more departed from the truth and added to my inconstancy (to the truth) anger, which was the fruits of my tried situation. Soon I lost all my sweet enjoyment of mind and found a proud, concupiscent mind influencing me in its place. CHAP. II. The pride of youth, and a back-slidden-life, not without serious reflections and spiritual reproofs--Reflections whilst in the army, and a convincement of the impropriety of war, and the fallacy of worldly honors--Deep contrition of soul-Retirement from the army--Many promises of reformation (made to God) forgotten in a retired life--Sensibility of a sinful heart, with an inward sense of the weakness of creaturely strength-Several visions of the night foreboding things, for four years to come-the condition of the Church. AFTER living in an unpleasant situation about seven years, I became discontented and resolved to change my situation in life; accordingly without the consent of the man with whom I was living, I repaired to the town of Danbury, in the state of Connecticut, where I chose a guardian, and bound myself to learn a trade, being about 17 years of age. It was my fortune to live with very agreeable people, who used me better than I used myself; for as I knew nothing of the difficulties of providing for a family, I frequently used to find much fault with my living. During my apprenticeship, I became much attached to the episcopalian mode of worship, and attended very constantly at that church.Though that form of worship appeared to me to be pleasing, it was much more fashionable than evangelical; consequently my pride found no check by my attachment. So it was with me, at an age and time of life when I needed much grace, I had but a very little, if any, consequently, like the "sow that was washed" I gave myself up to the wallowing in the mire. I gave way to the pride of life, the lusts of the flesh and to many things which are at war with the life of a christian. It was a time of life with me in which I laid the foundation for much repentance, and the cause of serious reflection for life. Though I was not left to do any thing criminal, nor to be unreserved in my language, yet I was far from that which I had ought to have been.I was not without my remembrancer, and often found myself with all my pride and world C ly imaginations laid waste by a little reflection. I spent many of my evenings in lonely retreat, as retirement was always accounted by me a very precious privilege. REFLECTION'S the path, from this world to the next; Remote from all pride, and a world much perplext. But notwithstanding I had many reflections, being naturally high spirited and fond of the world, I had too much pride to make any proficiency in a christian life. The term of my apprenticeship closed a short time before the declaration of the late war, which was declared in 1812. As the war was a hindrance to most mechanical business, mine with the rest, my worldly prospects appeared discouraging, and meeting with an opportunity something inviting to a worldly mind, I accordingly entered the United States' army for eighteen months. Before the expiration of my enlistment I received a commission, which rendered my prospects and situation much more agreeable to my proud mind. Without troubling my reader with all the account of several years, which were spent in pride and honorary pursuit, I shall only observe, that immediately on entering the army I proceeded to the western frontiers, where I was exposed to the hardships and dangers of the war without injury, until the battle of Chippewa, in Upper Canada. During that period I commanded a company in the 25th Regiment of Infantry, under the command of Maj. Jessup. The officers in the company who ranked me, were unfortunately wounded at the very commencement of the action, which gave me the command. I received a musket shot in my right thigh, and was wounded at the time they were; yet I possessed too much of the spirit of war, and had too much pride to quit the ground though I was wounded as bad as either of them. From the wound which I received in this engagement, and from the consequence of overheating myself at the same time, my health was so much impaired that I was obliged to lay by for the recovery of my health. In a few months, when I had measurably recovered from my wound, I repaired to Sackett's Harbor, where I was measurably confined to my room much of the winter. One day, as I was sitting alone in my room, my thought began to trace over my life, and to note how many times I had been preserved in times of danger. Four times I had been taken out of the water, when otherwise I must have drowned. Twice I had been saved from perishing by fire. I had also been protected through the imminent dangers of the late war, so that my life was yet spared. I had survived whilst a large circle of my acquaintance had fallen in this, that and the other place. The company of men with which I first entered into the army had been killed in action, or had died with sickness, so that there was but a very few of them remaining. I felt that it was through dangers seen and unseen, that the Lord had spared my unprofitable life. I had now been two years and a half in the army. During this time, I had given every possible indulgence to my rank and pride. My mind was soon filled with such an abasing sense of myself, that it seemed as if I was more like a shadow than like a substance. It appeared that my minutes were all numbered, and that my days were like a shooting star. saw that whilst my life had been dependant upon God's goodness I had acted contrary to his will for many years. I thought upon the honors and the applause of men. Thought I from my very heart-it is but a name,a loathsome, empty, hissing sound, from a set of pride-intoxicated mortals, whose own false notions are but the bane of the soul, the thief of reason and the prop of fools. I Hence my mind was led to the consequences of war. It was but a few days before this, that I had witnessed the honorary respects of war paid to General Pike, who was killed at Little York, in Upper Canada. This man was honored by a funeral procession —whilst a coffin was carried through the streets covered with a black cloth, with a |