their magic to produce any thing like it; and so it has been with me from that day untilthis present time, that not a single cloud has flown between me and the light, though I have had many trials, as to the knowledge of my personal duty, yet my mind is unclouded and without a doubt as to religion and the intireness of the truth from the worthless creeds of men. “Love is the fulfilling of the law," and all beyond that are only engines of prelatical tyranny-Subjects of dispute-things without grace, gendering to ungodliness.— "Now," saith the Apostle," the end of the commandment is charity," (or love) out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned," from which some having swerved, they "have turned aside, desiring to be teachers of the law; understanding neither what they say, nor wherefore they affirm," all which "minister questions rather than godly edifying."

"Ye different sects who all declare

Lo! CHRIST is here, and CHRIST is there;
Your stronger proofs divinely give,

And show me where the Christians live."

Though my mind now felt completely clear from all doubts relative to religion and what comprised the truth. I had still to learn duty, and what was more, it was necessary that I should do it too. But when I thought of leaving the church (as I have before observed) it was a work which I knew

not where to commence. My brethren many of them seemed near to me. To leave the society and bear public protestation against the ordinances (so called) with other things, was no way to keep their friendship, gain other friends, or render myself popular in the view of sectaries at large. At this time I was not so much without a knowledge of my duty as I was without a mind to do it.

About this time I took into consideration the subject of ordination by the laying on of hands, but I found that, that ceremony was only a form without power-a popular ceremony among the dead forms of the church, but by no means necessary, or qualifying to a true gospel minister. The light in which I viewed the form of ordination is held forth at full length in my Plea:*

CHAP. VII.

Adversity considered an answer to prayer and as means of instruction relative to duty.-Reproofs for the untimely use of vocal prayer.-The use of the sacrament, attempted for the last time, and the pretended benefits of the sacrament discovered by examining others, with repeated adversity, and an account to the time application was made for a dismission from society.

NOTWITHSTANDING I felt a good degree of consolation and confirmation in the truth, yet See Plea, Chap. 19.

this added nothing to my comfort whenever I assembled with my brethren, for if I conformed to the ceremonies of the church I felt much condemned, and it was not uncommon when in meeting that I was bowed down, as I have before observed, with a burthen at my heart and my tongue clave to the roof of my mouth.

After about one year had passed, and I had kept my mind mostly to myself concerning ordinances, many, I supposed, probably concluded, that I had renounced my new doctrine, and so I measurely regained their fellowship.

The time now drew on, when the Lord saw fit to deal with me in a manner agreeable to my prayers. I had frequently made it a matter of request to God, that, (when duty was made known) if I did not submit to his righteous requirements, he would disappoint and afflict me-bereave and cut off my temporal prospects, until I should yield to duty.

No

About the 9th month (called September,) 1819. I was appointed as a messenger to the Free-will Baptist quarterly meeting sooner than I had consented to go, I felt immediate condemnation resting upon me, but this was not the first time that I had felt condemned on similar occasions, for but a few weeks past, I had been a considerable journey, and visited every society that belonged to the quarterly meeting. During this journey, I felt much condemnation for acting in con

junction with a people, from whom I had felt it my duty to withdraw.

When I was about to set forward on my journey to the quarterly meeting, unusual darkness came over my mind, and many difficulties appeared, to stop my designs, so that I observed to my family, that I believed that it was not my duty to go. I also endeavored to persuade some one to go in my stead, but to no purpose, therefore I was apparently obliged to go myself; and accordingly set off at a late hour in the morning. I had not proceeded more than three miles, when I discovered that I had taken a wrong road, by which I was led quite out of my way. Finding myself in the woods, and at the end of the path, I reflected much on myself for having missed my path in a way where I had frequently been before. But charging my miss to the too intense study in which my mind had been engaged all the day; I made the best of my way thro' the woods, and finding my way, I proceeded on my intended journey. But as I proceeded, the Lord by his Spirit came near, and the question ran repeatedly through my mind, whether I did not know that I was acting inconsistent with reason, and against the Spirit of the Lord, as well as in opposition to my own convincement. I could not say that I did not know my duty, so far, that I had sometime since proposed in my mind to leave society, but I had an inclination to delay and put it off for a more

convenient season. one by myself were not pleasing to the natural mind. I had not proceeded far when it was pressingly suggested to my mind that I should return home, and indeed, my feelings were so pungent before I left home, that I observed to my family, that it was probable that I should return. All my past experience reasoned powerfully against me, and seemed at last to demand of me whether I would discontinue my journey, yea or nay.

The thoughts of being

Though the day was far spent, and the journey demanded haste, yet, for deep meditation I was only sauntering in the way. All at once, in the midst of my reasonings, I put spur to my horse, and said with all but an audible voice, I will go to Quarterly meeting. I had not proceeded but a few rods before my horse fell to the ground, and by means of a small stick which had entered the trunk of his body-he died instantly. In confusion of soul I stripped my beast of saddle and bridle, leaving the creature in the road where it fell. I returned home, and as the horse was not my own, but a borrowed horse, I paid the loaner for his beast. Thus I found the way of the transgressor to be hard. It was night when I returned home. I had strove against the Lord all the day-had lost my horse, and performed a journey of only eight miles.

I shall now notice the exercise of my mind on the subject of prayer. I have before ob

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