God sometimes giveth, sometimes with-holdeth them, according to the counsels of his own will."

16. After my return home, I was much buffeted with temptations: But cried out, and they fled away. They returned again and again. I as often lifted up my eyes, and he "sent me help from his holy place." And herein I found the difference between this and my former state chiefly consisted. I was striving, yea, fighting with all my might under the law, as well as under grace. But then I was sometimes, if not often, conquered; now, I was always

conqueror..

17. Thursday, May 25, The moment I awaked, "Jesus, Master," was in my heart and in my mouth: And I found all my strength lay in keeping my eye fixed upon him and my soul waiting on him continually. Being again at St. Paul's in the afternoon, I could taste the good word of God in the Anthem, which began, "My song shall be always of the loving kindness of the Lord:: With my mouth will I ever be shewing forth thy truth from one generation to another." Yet the enemy injected a fear, "If thou dost believe, why is there not a more sensible change? I ananswered, (yet not I) That I know not. But this I know, I have now peace with God: And I sin not to-day, and Jesus my master has forbid me to take thought for the

morrow.

18. "But is not any sort of fear (continued the tempter) a proof that thou dost not believe?" I desired my master to answer for me; and opened his book upon those words of St. Paul," Without were fightings, within were fears." Then inferred I, well may fears be within me; but I must go on, and tread them under my feet.

Friday 26, My soul continued in peace, but yet in heaviness, because of manifold temptations. I asked Mr. Telchig, the Moravian, what to do? He said, you must not fight with them, as you did before, but flee from them, the moment they appear, and take shelter in the wounds of Jesus. The same I learned also from the afternoon Anthem which was, "My soul truly waiteth still upon God;

for of him cometh my salvation; he verily is my strength and my salvation; he is my defence, so that I shall not greatly fall. O put your trust in him always, ye people; pour out your hearts before him; for God is our hope."

Saturday 27, Believing one reason of my want of joy, was want of time for prayer, I resolved to do no business till I went to church in the morning, but to continue pouring out my heart before him. And this day my spirit was enlarged; so that though I was now also assaulted by many temptations, I was more than conqueror, gaining more power thereby to trust and to rejoice in God my Saviour.

Sunday 28, I waked in peace, but not in joy. In the same even quiet state I was till the evening, when I was roughly attacked in a large company as an Enthusiast, a Seducer, and a Setter forth of new Doctrines. By the blessing of God I was not moved to anger, but after a calm and short reply went away: though not with so tender a concern as was due to those, who were seeking death in the error of their life.

This day I preached in the morning at St. George's, Bloomsbury, on This is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith; and in the afternoon at the chapel in Long-acre, on God's justifying the ungodly; the last time (I understand) I am to preach at either. "Not as I will, but as thou wilt."

Monday 29, I set out for Dummer with Mr. Wolf, one of the first-fruits of Peter Border's ministry in England. I was much strengthened by the grace of God in him: Yet was his state so far above mine, that I was often tempted to doubt whether we had one faith? But, without much reasoning about it, I held here; Though his be strong, and mine weak, yet that God hath given some degree of faith even to me, I know by its fruits. For I have constant peace: sot one uneasy thought. And I have freedom from sin: Not one unholy desire.

Yet on Wednesday did I grieve the Spirit of God, not only by not watching unto prayer, but likewise by speak

ing with sharpness instead of tender love, of one that was not sound in the faith. Immediately God hid his face and I was troubled; and in this heaviness I continued till the next morning, June 1, when it pleased God, while I was exhorting another, to give comfort to my soul, and (after I had spent some time in prayer) to direct me to those gracious words, "Having therefore boldness, to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus—Let us draw near with a true heart, in full assurance of faith. Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that hath promised) and let us consider one another, to provoke unto love and to good works."

Saturday, June 3, I was so strongly assaulted by one of my old enemies, that I had scarce strength to open my lips, or even too look up for help. But after I had prayed^ faintly, as I could, the temptation vanished away.

Sunday 4, Was indeed a feast day. For from the time of my rising till past one in the afternoon, I was praying, reading the Scriptures, singing praise, or calling sinners to repentance. All these days I scarce remember to have opened the Testament, but upon some great and precious promise. And I saw more than ever, that the Gospel is in truth, but one great promise, from the beginning of it to the end.

Tuesday 6, I had still more comfort, and peace and joy: On which I fear I began to presume. For in the evening I received a letter from Oxford, which threw me into much perplexity. It was asserted therein, "That no doubting could consist with the least degree of true faith: That whoever at any time felt any doubt ox fear, was not Weak in Faith, but had no Faith at all: And that none had any faith, till the law of the spirit of life has made him wholly free from the law of sin and death."

Begging of God to direct me, I opened my Testament on 1 Cor. iii. 1. &c. where St. Paul speaks of those whom he terms Babes in Christ, who were not able to bear strong meat, nay, in a sense, carnal; to whom nevertheless he says, "Ye are God's building, ye are the temple of

God." Surely then these men had some degree of faith: though it is plain, their faith was but weak.

After some hours spent in the Scriptures and prayer, I was much comforted. Yet I felt a kind of soreness in my heart, so that I found my wound was not fully healed. O God, save thou me, and all that are weak in the faith, from doubtful disputations!

Wednesday 7, I determined, if God should permit, to retire for a short time into Germany. I had fully purposed before I left Georgia so to do, if it should please God to bring me back to Europe. And I now clearly saw the time was come. My weak mind could not bear to be thus sawn asunder. And I hoped the conversing with these holy men, who were themselves living witnesses of the full power of faith, and yet able to bear with those that are weak, would be a means, under God, of so establishing my soul, that I might " go on from faith to faith, and from strength to strength."

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Thursday 8, I went to Salisbury, to take leave of my mother. The next day I left Sarum, and on Saturday came to Stanton-Harcourt. Having preached Faith in Christ there on Sunday 11, I went on to Oxford; and thence on Monday to London, where I found Mr. Ingham just setting out. We went on board the next day, Tuesday 13, and fell down to Gravesend that night. About four in the afternoon on Wednesday we lost sight of England. We reached the Maese at eight on Thursday morning, and in an hour and a half landed at Rotterdam.

We were eight in all, five English and three Germans, Dr. Koker, a physician of Rotterdam, was so kind, when we set forward in the afternoon, as to walk an hour with us on our way. I never before saw any such road as this. For many miles together it is raised for some yards above the level, and paved with a small sort of brick, as smooth and clean as the Mall at St. James's. The walnut-trees stand in even rows on either side: So that no walk in a gentleman's garden is pleasanter. About seven we came to Goudart, where we were a little surprised, at meeting with

a treatment which is not heard of in England. Several Inns utterly refused to entertain us; so that it was with difficulty we at last found one, where they did us the favour to take our money for some meat and drink, and the use of two or three bad beds. They pressed us much in the morning to see their Church, but were displeased at our pulling off our hats when we went in; telling us," We must not do so; it was not the custom there." It is a large old building, of the Gothic kind, resembling some of our English Cathedrals. There is much history-painting in the windows, which they told us, is greatly admired. About eight we left Goudart, and in a little more than six hours we reached Ysselstein.

Here we were at Baron Wattevil's as at home. We found with him a few German brethren and sisters, and seven or eight of our English acquaintance, who had settled here some time before. They lodged just without the town, in three or four little houses, till one should be built that would contain them all. Saturday 17, was their Intercession-day. In the morning, some of our English brethren desired me to administer the Lord's Supper: The rest of the day we spent with all the brethren and sisters, in hearing the wonderful work which God is beginning to work over all the earth, and in making our requests known unto him, and giving him thanks for the mightiness of his kingdom.

At six in the morning we took boat. The beautiful gardens lie on both sides the river, for great part of the way to Amsterdam, whither we came about five in the evening. The exact neatness of all the buildings here, the nice cleanness of the streets (which, we were informed, were all washed twice a week) and the canals which run through all the main streets, with rows of trees on either side, make this the pleasantest city which I have ever seen. Here we were entertained with truly Christian hospitality, by Mr. Decknatel, a minister of the Mennonists, who suffered us to want nothing while we stayed here, which was till the Thursday following. Dr. Barkausen (a Physician,