THE PHILISTINE'S HEAD; OR, THE INFIDEL
REPROVED.

A DAY young spark, of a deistical turn, travelling in a stage-coach to London, forced his sentiments on the company, by attempting to ridicule the Scriptures; and among other topics, made himself merry with the story of David and Goliah, strongly urging the impossibility of a youth, like David, being able to throw a stone with sufficient force to sink into the giant's forehead. On this he appealed to the company, and in particular to a grave gentleman of the denomination called Quakers, who sat silent in one corner of the carriage. "Indeed, friend, replied he, "I do not think it at all improbable, if the Philistine's head was as soft as thine."

Ibid.

THE QUAKER'S WATCH.

A PERSON of the denomination of Quakers, once took his watch to the maker, with the following words: "Friend, I have once more brought my erroneous watch, which wants thy friendly care and protection: the last time he was at thy school, he was no ways benefitted by thy instruction. I find, by the index of his tongue, that he tells false, and that his motions are waving and unsettled, which makes me believe he is not right in the inward man; I mean the main spring. I would have thee improve him, with thy adjusting tool of truth, that if possible thou mayest drive him from the error of his ways. Imagining his body to be foul, and the whole mass corrupted, purge him with

thy cleansing stick from all pollution, so that he may vibrate and circulate according to truth. I will board him with thee for a few days, and pay thee when thou requirest it. In thy late bill, thou chargest me with the one eighth of a pound sterling, which I will pay thee also. Friend, when thou correctest him, do it without passion; lest by severity, thou drivest him to destruction. I would have thee let him visit the sun's motion, and learn his true calculation table, and equation; and when thou findest him conformable to that, send him home with a just bill of moderation, and it shall be faithfully remitted to thee by thy true friend."

Ibid.

ANECDOTES OF GEORGE III.

In the severe winter of 1784-5, his Majesty, regardless of the weather, was taking a solitary walk on foot, when he was met by two boys, the oldest not eight years of age, who although ignorant it was the King, fell upon their knees before him, and wringing their little hands, prayed for relief. "The smallest relief," they cried, "for we are very hungry, and have nothing to eat." More they would have said, but a torrent of tears, which gushed down their innocent cheeks, checked their utterance. The father of his people raised the weeping supplicants, and encouraged them to proceed with their story. They did so, and related that their mother had been dead three days, and still lay unburied; that their father, whom they were also afraid of losing, was stretched by her side upon a bed of straw, in a sick and hopeless condition; and that they had neither money, food, nor firing at home. This artless tale was more than sufficient to excite

sympathy in the royal bosom. His Majesty, therefore, ordered the boys to proceed homeward, and followed them until they reached a wretched hovel. There he found the mother dead, apparently through the want of common necessaries; the father ready to perish also, but still encircling with his feeble arm the deceased partner of his woes, as if unwilling to survive her. The sensibility of the Monarch betrayed itself in the tears which started from his eyes, and leaving all the cash he had with him, he hasted back to Windsor, related to the Queen what he had witnessed, and sent an immediate supply of provisions, clothes, coals, and every thing necessary for the comfort of the helpless family. Revived by the bounty of his Sovereign, the old man soon recovered, and the King, to finish the good work he had so gloriously begun, educated and provided for the children.

The King one day conversing with one of his tradesmen, whom he knew to be a Presbyterian, asked him, "Does your Parson ever pray for me?"-" In good truth he does, your Majesty," replied the Scotchman, "and from his very heart too."-"I dare say he does; I dare say he does;" rejoined the King, "for you know he is not paid for it."

The King was one day passing in his carriage, through a place near one of the royal palaces, when the rabble were gathered together to interrupt the worship of the Dissenters. His Majesty stopped to know the cause of the hubbub; and being answered it was only an affair between the towns-people and the Methodists, he replied, loud enough to be heard by many, "The Methodists are a quiet, good kind of people, and will disturb nobody, and if I can learn that any persons in my employ disturb them, they shall be immediately

dismissed." The King's most gracious speech was speedily recapitulated throughout the whole town, and persecution has not dared to lift its head there since that period.

An architect, who was a serious man, having some business with his late Majesty, attended at one of his palaces, and he was shown into a room where a Nobleman afterwards came, who used much impious and blasphemous language, for which the gentleman felt it his duty to rebuke him. This threw the Peer into a great rage, and occasioned such a noise, that the King came into the room to inquire the cause of it, when the Nobleman informed him that he had been insulted by the other person; but upon the architect explaining, that he only rebuked him for profaneness and blasphemy, his Majesty said, he had his approbation for what he had done, as he did not allow blasphemy in his dwelling. He afterwards desired the architect to sit down, to forget his royalty, and freely to tell him the ground of his hope of salvation, which he stated to be the sacrifice and work of the Lord Jesus Christ. The King said, that also was the ground of his dependence.

MAXIMS, &c.

WHEN ill news comes too late to be serviceable to your neighbour, keep it to yourself.—Zimmerman. There is not in the world so toilsome a trade as the pursuit of fame; life concludes before you have so much as sketched your work.-Bruyere.

Open your mouth and purse cautiously, and your stock of wealth and reputation shall, at least in repute, be great.-Zimmerman.

Provision is the foundation of hospitality, and thrift the fuel of magnificence.Sir P. Sidney.

Leisure is time for doing something useful;-this leisure the diligent man will obtain, but the easy man never; so that, as poor Richard says, a life of leisure and a life of laziness are two things.-Franklin.

Contentment is a pearl of great price; and whoever procures it at the expense of ten thousand desires, makes a wise and a happy purchase.—Balgay.

Trust not the world; for it never pays that it promises.-Augustin.

Covetousness, by a greediness of getting more, deprives itself of the true end of getting it loses the enjoyment of what it had got.-Sprat.

Pride brake the angels in heaven, and spoils all heads we find cracked here; for such as observe those in Bedlam shall perceive their fancies to beat most upon mistakes in honour or love.—Osborn.