CHA P. IX.

Who occupies the fourth place in Hell. The picture of a fop, and of a coquet.

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E fhall put the fops and beaux in the fourth clafs. When they appear they are fo nicely and exactly dreffed, that you would think they had just come out of a band-box. Obferve their heads, no curl or fingle hair is out of order. comb, the curling-tongs, the fciffärs, powders, effences, and pomatums, have been made ufe of to give them that graceful arrangement which ftrikes your eye. How many pains, how many burnings, how many vexations, how many grimaces, how many oaths has it not coft them to attain at this! But ought we not to fuffer fomething in this world for to get a place of diftinction in the next! Without doubt we must. Undoubtedly it is for that purpose we fee them going to and fro with their heads unco. vered, whatever weather it be. Even in the utmost rigour of winter, unbuttoned to the waift, you fee them make the moft ridiculous parade of a pretend+ ed heat of, conftitution, whilft the cold-blighted keenness of their faces, and continual fhudderings, belie them every moment.

FROM the fame motive we fee them dancing attendance during the night, and blowing their fingers, amidst froft, hail and rain, under the windows of their pretended miftreffes, who divert themselves,and make a jeft of them, with reason. And happy may they think themselves, if their chambermaids, who are commonly pretty pieces, maliciously cover them not with fome nafty deluge, for to cool and allay a little the paffion with which they fay they burn.

AND yet thefe hair-brained mafters are, to hear them, the favourites and Adonis's of all the ladies; and, if we would believe them, there is not a fingle one who can hold out against the charms of their perfons. It is by confequence of this ridiculous per. fuafion into which they bring themselves, that we fee them always fo content with their little merit, always leaping, finging, dancing, whistling, capering, and often doing all these things at once. True dolls, both in figure and understanding; may take them for real puppets, which folly plays, and keeps in conftant motion. In the ftreets, the walks, at court, at the theatre, in a lady's assembly,. even in the church, their character, alike extrava gant, never belies itself. Every where they are the fame; and every where the object of laughter for fenfible men. But they care very little for that. They are content with themselves, and that fuffices them. They even make an honour and a merit of the raillery which is made upon their foolish behavi

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our, because they know, and are perfuaded, that the kingdom of Lucifer, to which they have very wellgrounded pretensions, has, like that of Heaven, which they feldom care for, a crofs way to go through, and troubles to fupport, when we would acquire it.

NEXT to these sparks comes in order another fort of animals, not in the least more wife or rational. They bear indeed the names of girls and women; but, heavens! what a ftrange affemblage of irregularities and follies, extravagancies and imperfections, faults and vices! Worthy! thrice worthy implements of Hell! Behold them, examine them from top to toe, and tell me if I draw the picture falfe,. ftrengthen one fingle feature, or give to any part too high a colouring. Then let us take the very firft that offers to make the picture from. And very fea fonably, there's one already fits: behold her at her toilet take notice of her head-drefs and her hair, which but this very moment are come out of the hands of her tire-woman and barber: who have to-gether spent four hours at least in giving them the form, the turn, the colour, the arrangement which you obferve them have. Her treffes, naturally red,. she has found means by art to make appear the finest brown imaginable, and should the fair one chufeto have them light-coloured, black or chefnut, or any other colour the may fancy, it will only cost these fkilful alterers of Nature's works the trouble of giving them another dye.. Nay, what's a greater won

der, thofe locks, fo much have art and induftry con verted and disguised them, that by their graceful fall; their beauteous negligence, you might mistake them for the fair treffes of Venus, or thofe of Berenice; but then what pains has not this fair one borne all the last night on their account! Her head, ftuck round with papers, as it is faid Medufa's was with fnakes, has not permitted her to close an eye, or get a wink of fleep. Obferve her eyes and cheeks!: The former, naturally lively, and almost always animated by the fire of love, with which her bofom burns, are heavy, down-caft, fad and languishing. The latter, equally crimsoned over by the pure native glow of youthful blood, are lifeless, pale, and livid. What pity it is, I know you are going to cry out; but have a little patience: art, in a mo-. ment, shall supply the wants of both. Obferve her toilet, and its implements; the ingredients, and the different apparatus of which it is compofed. This fair one's ardent defire to appear pleafing to her lovers will quickly make her feek, and find again within her looking-glafs all the vivacity her eyes have loft. There you perceive her ogling, primming, and grimacing at her glafs, whilft, like a new Apelles, with pencils dipped in cerufe, vermilion, and carmine, the artfully applies upon her face thofe colours which we remarked before that he had loft.

FROM her cheeks let us proceed to her ears, which feem to have been moulded by the most skilful artist,

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fo neat, fo delicately turned they are: for fear, however, that they fhould grow too fleshy, fhe has caufed them to be bored; and, however delicate her fex, however painful this operation may have been, the has chofen voluntarily to fuffer it, rather than not conform to what is the fafhion. But wherefore do I mention this; this tranfitory pain? To this fucceeds another daily one: a pain almost continual, and which the bears with no less perfeverance. This is occafioned by the weight of that great load of precious ftones, with which you fee her ears are decorated; jewels, whose weight would tear her ears to pieces, nay almoft pull them off, were it not for the care of the induftrious jeweller.

BUT now, as we are mentioning the fufferings of the fair-fex, let us go through with the examination, whereby we may discover the most evident proof of the truth of what I have advanced; that is to fay, that the ladies, no less than their admirers, are truly martyrs to Lucifer, and to obtain a portion in his kingdom, both do and fuffer more than they would perform to acquire a place in Heaven.

BEHOLD that alabafter neck, that fnowy breaft, which the always expofes to the infults of the air and weather, even in the moft fevere, moft piercing cold of winter. A flender handkerchief, an efclavage of diamonds, or of pearls, fome knots of ribbons, a piece of gauze or muflin, as thin as the fpider's web, fcarce covers the tenth part; and, even