AND that you may not think, that prejudice, illnature, and itch for calumny, or any private pique I have against this fet of people, have urged me to fpeak thus, I fhall here put in the fame clafs our other venerable church-men, the moft part of whom are little better: thofe young foppifh parfons, true actors of a part, who, fpruce in powdered wig, and band clear-ftarched, with golden fnuff-box in their hands, and the rich brilliant glittering on their fingers, exclaim with moft declamatory vehemence from the pulpit against the luxury and vanities of the world; who, with lafcivious eyes, traverfing every beauty in their audience, rail loudly against gallantry: and, whilft the very Burgundy is sparkling in their eyes, and glowing in their cheeks, and the plump fleekness of their persons befpeaks them like Eli's fons, fed with the fat of every offering, take on them to infpire their hearers with the love of abftinence, and rend their very lungs to prove its indifpenfable neceffity. Such alfo are thofe other clamourers, who make the feat of truth the theatre of their peculiar animofities; who preach up charity to others, whilft they themselves roar out unmercifully, even to hoarfenefs, against their brethren, taking an averfion to them from motives of ambition, or of intereft, and whom they fain would make their hearers hate as much as they themselves do. In that fame clafs behold thole pampered bithops, whofe moft infatiate avarice has befieged their prince with mean mean fervilities, with flatteries and importunities, day after day, 'till they at length have teized him out of preferments, equal even to the fatisfaction of their utmost luxury and covetousness; yet do these pastors, instead of laying down their lives for their flocks, according to the precept, and even the example of him who first ordained them what they are, defert and leave them to the care of hirelings, who, in this town, think not at all about them, but with respect to the pecuniary emolument they are to reap from them. There, in another corner, you may fee those youthful prieftlings, who, fcarcely come from fchool or university, where they have ftudied nothing but a few points of fophiftry, blended with an infinity of childifhnefs and folly, perfuade themfelves, that, from the bishop's laying on his hands, they instantly are changed into holy men, whom all the world must listen to and credit, as if they were fo many oracles. You alfo behold another fet there, who are as bold as impious, and who breathe into the heart of a young charming innocent, at the very foot of the altar, if fhe is fimple enough to hearken to them, in the same manner as the old ferpent did into the ear of our first mother Eve, a bafe love, whereof they very often enjoy the criminal firft fruits themfelves. Now all thefe actions of men are carried on under the fpecious pretence of the glory of God, and the converfion of fouls, but, in reality, for the glory and love of Lord Lucifer, to whom they well know they make their court by it; and receive the first apartments in his kingdom by way of recompence. But let us here end this detail, which would lead us too far, if purfued to the uttermoft, and proceed to the fecond class, which is not lefs numerous. ******************* CHA P. VII. Who occupies the second apartments in Hell. THE ture of the mifer. A pic 'HE mifers make up this clafs, who are devoted to Hell, and who take almost incredible pains to get thither. They go to the furthermoft parts of the earth for this purpofe; to India, Japan, China, Peru, Malabar, Canada and Brafil; even to the Anthropophagi, who feed upon human flesh. We fee them defying the most terrible storms, expofing themfelves to all the horrors of famine or contagion, and the fury and rapacity of corfairs and pirates, with equal intrepidity. In fhort, they face whatever is moft dreadful in the earth, fea and elements, not only without the leaft terror, but even with looks of joy. Death himself is not frightful to them; and why? furely not from any expectations they have of attaining the celeftial paradife. Alas! they would think it too dear a purchase if it was to coft them but ว a penny, and would grudge that small fum to buy it: and how can it well be expected that they should be fo extravagant for God, when they refufe themfelves the common neceffaries of life? Behold their food : they think the vileft and most common thing the earth produces too dear and delicate for their use. They eat fuch black bread, that a hound, almost ftarved with hunger, would hardly taste it. The purling brook is all their drink, which is too good. for them. They cry and regret at the good cheer which they fee others have, as if they were at the expence of it. THE fame penury and miferable economy appears in their drefs, which is no more than a bundle of rags patched and fewed together, to fave the money which it would take to cloath them decently. Their eyes are never fhut, and always fixed upon' their hoard, which they keep locked up in iron chefts with triple locks, and which they never touch for fear of diminishing; they never fleep for fear of being rob bed. The time which the reft of mankind employ in fweet repofe, they fpend in inventing tricks to ruin their neighbours, either by exorbitant ufury, or other fraudulent defigns, by which they may enlarge their hoards. If they chance to fall fick, which cannot fail to happen, perhaps you imagine they have recourfe to the doctors, and feek for neceffary affsist. ance; but alas! you are greatly mistaken; they fcorn this aid for two reafons: the first is, that it it would coft money; rather than give away which they would lofe life; and the other, because it would prolong their lives, which would put off their journey to Hell, where they eagerly defire to be. By whom the third place in Hell is inhabited. THE fcription of the drunkards. A de HE drunkards are next in rank to the mifers,, who are fo fond of Hell, that they take all methods to fhorten their lives, which they think too long to keep them from it. Let us then convey ourfelves for a minute to one of their affemblies, and fee what paffes there. It is well we are among them; behold them placed round a table. For what have they feated themfelves? Is it to eat? Or to be delighted with a pleasant converfation, enlivened by a chearful glass? Good God! how stupid you are, and how little you are acquainted with thefe people! Was it for to think, or to enjoy themselves with the fweets of conversation, do you imagine, that they were born? No, no; it was to drink. Obferve them with their glaffes in their hands: they empty glafs after glass, and that info large a quantity, that they C are |