thered to Shiloh, may be fulfilled when I am not looking for it, or when I am no more in this world. Gen. xlix. 10. which was the action sermon text. I think my desire is to see sinners gathered to the church, and to the Saviour; and O that I could labour more abundantly, and pray more fervently, for the accomplishment of this object. Amen.

Tranent, May 12, 1794.-Woes me, for the confusion and carnality of my mind, and the deceit and corruption of my heart-plagued with the operations of indwelling sin, and harassed with the buffetings. of Satan. My case is very distressful; what if the Lord should let loose these enemies upon me; I feel my own inability to withstand them, and have been often, often overthrown by them; the effects of which appear in cooling my fervour, deadening my graces, and damping my spirits. Yesterday furnishes me with a recent proof; my services were heavy and oppressive to me, and sometimes I thought to have sunk under them: nevertheless, the Lord held me up, and I trust will do, for his own glory, the credit of his ordinances, and the good of his people. My convictions of baseness, vileness, guilt, and unworthiness are such, that I abhor myself, and confess that the people of God, if they knew me, and God, who perfectly knows what is in me, might justly abhor me too. In this case, I roll myself upon the pardoning grace of God, crying, with the poor publican, "God be merciful to me a sinner ;" and acknowledging with Paul," this is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. On these words I rest myself, desiring to believe that through the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ I shall be saved. In

the mean time, let me look to him for light, liberty, and enlargement. O that he would shew me the way in which I should walk, and lead me in it. O that he would give me rest from my fears, and my sorrows, and my hard bondage. Amen.

Tranent, July 30, 1794.-Sabbath last we kept our solemn feast preached from Psalm cxxx. 8. The Lord in unmerited kindness made the truths of his word pleasant to my soul; felt, I thought, freedom in preaching, warmth in praying, and some softening in communicating. O that I could prove myself grateful! Let me walk humbly with my God-may he retain on the imaginations of the thoughts of my heart savoury impressions. What my public ministrations are to others, it is not for me to determine; but so far as observable, they are not accompanied with much effect at present. Providence does not make any re markable addition to our numbers, neither are we suffered to decrease. For some years past the communicant roll has contained just about 200 souls, never exceeding, to my knowledge, 205. Considering the little handful at our beginning, (56 members,) with other providential obstructions, I must not despise the day of small things. If the Lord means that others should increase and I must decrease, let me be silent; yet there is in my mind a sort of feeling that forbids me to draw a desperate conclusion. May I not adopt the mode in which Manoah's wife reasoned: If the Lord were pleased to make an end of us, he would not have received any service at our hands, neither would he have shewed us such things, nor told us of them? He keeps us down, but he does not destroy us; he leaves us in perplexity, but not in despair-who can tell but the Lord may yet be gra

F

cious! May I obtain mercy of the Lord to be faithful. I purpose, through his grace, to cleave to him amid discouragements, and to hope in his mercy for all things. Let me be on my guard against evil tempers; let me study purity of heart, and holiness of conversation; having opened my mouth unto the Lord, let me never go back. The Lord keep me and bless me the Lord be gracious unto me, and make his face shine upon me-the Lord lift up his counte nance upon me, and give me peace. Amen.

Tranent, June 15, 1795.-Come, my soul, let the abundant mercy of God encourage thee to hope in him, and to wait for him-the Lord will not cast off for ever. "Yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry." Death, I trust, will be a deliverance to thee from all that is distressing and perplexing; it may be that even in life the Lord will enlighten thy darkness, remove thy fears, and convert thy sorrows into joy: at any rate, maintain thy hope in God-cease from man, but rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him. Amen.

Tranent, July 27, 1795.-I write myself a debtor to God-I cannot discharge my debt-I am allowed to increase it—I desire to sink deeper into it. He hath done much for us on this sacramental occasion; he favoured us all yesterday in providence, and I hope many of us in grace. When I think of my perverseness, my carnality, my pride, my passion, my ingratitude, and all the other innumerable evils which compass me about, it may strike me with astonishment that ever he should look on such a dead dog as I am. O the sovereignty, the freedom, and the riches of his grace! It pains me to

the heart to think that ever I should offend him. I must return again to the field of battle, not without some hope that he will be with me, and lead me on to victory and peace. The Lord will bring me forth into a large place, and deliver me, because he delighteth in me. In the mean time, let me be thankful; let the high praises of God be in my mouth, and a two-edged sword in my hand. Notwithstanding my difficulties and discouragements, I would persuade myself that the Lord will not suffer his own cause to perish. O that the glory of the Lord may be revealed amongst us; and that we, and all flesh, may see it together! (Action sermon text yesterday, Isa. xl. 5.) my desire is, that this work, which is of God, may be established till his glory becomes the fulness of the whole earth. Amen.

Tranent, Dec. 23, 1795.—The frame of my mind hath been dull and languid for some Sabbaths of late, chiefly in the afternoon. I have come in quite dissatisfied with myself; the word of God was powerless when delivering it, and inefficacious when reflecting upon it-my folly makes it so. I cannot tell what foolish imaginations, wandering desires, empty thoughts, and a thousand vanities of a similar nature, do possess me: I trust they are disallowed, and condemned as unwelcome intruders; yet I fear they are the sinful occasions of the divine withdrawment, and of my consequent deadness. I would gladly be rid of them, and cry, "Lord, how long shall vain thoughts lodge within me?" Who of my Christian acquaintances that see me would suppose that I have such a heart?"Create in me a clean heart, O God." Perhaps another important change may take place in my lot; but I pray that no such thing may ever

happen without the divine countenance and concurrence-the Lord manage for me in all things. Amen.

;

Tranent. Feb. 18, 1796. Fast evening.-Christianity is a truly rational work; its seat is in the soul it is produced and preserved by the power of God; nothing less can keep religion alive in us, so many are its opposers. As to myself, I feel such opposition to what is good, that I am convinced nothing but the exceeding greatness of divine power can enable me to overcome it. I see that the same power is needful for assisting me in the whole course of my Christian and ministerial warfare. Such is the weakness of my hands, and the weight of my duties, that my only resource is the omnipotence of God, exercised in strengthening the weak hands, and confirming the feeble knees. I think I am not without trust in God; nor shall all my fears and foes undermine it. Although not affected as I should be with my sins, yet my convictions tell me that there is no hope for me but in God my Saviour. I ask mercies of the God of heaven, that he would smile upon us on this occasion: I go to him for light and direction, for comfort and help, for peace and pardon, and for all salvation. O that my heart may be enlarged in his service, and my lips opened in his praise; that with ease and with earnestness I may publish his pre-eminence to my fellow men. (Col. i. 18. intended action sermon text.) My heart says amen; and may the Lord my God say so too.

Tranent, May 24, 1796.-The Lord continues his loving kindness-it becomes me to be thankful, blessed be God. I look to him, that the conjugal relation now established may be sweetened and sanctified;