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Christ may be magnified in my body, whether it be by life or death. I have reason, however, to fear that my sentiments at present on the vanity of the world and poorness of this life, may perhaps arise more from the weak and gloomy state of my mind, than from a solid, judicious, and scriptural persuasion. After all my tossings, return, O my soul, to thy rest, it may be the Lord will be gracious: turn my mourning into dancing, and gird me with gladness. Desiring it may be so, and trusting it shall be so here or hereafter, or both, I am thine, ROBERT SHIRREFF.

Tranent, May 8, 1790.-Providence is still threatening and punishing;-have lost this week one of the most valuable members of this session and congregation. I have esteemed him as such since my acquaintance with him, and from the same period have often found much comfort and encouragement in conversation with him. Taking this in connection with other late visitations of Providence, I think the Lord hath a controversy with us. Our small number is reduced, and, alas! no promising appearance at present of others coming in to supply their place. This bears hard upon me. Prone to doubt the promise and distrust the providence of my God, weak in mind, and weaker still in faith, my situation seems very distressing. Bereaved of an affectionate companion at home, and of a trusty confidant in the congregation, I may say, lover and friend hast thou put far from me, and mine acquaintance into darkness; yet, blessed be God, I am not left wholly destitute and friendless, nor entirely without hope. Perhaps at evening time it may be light; the Lord my God may enlighten my darkness, and render my latter end more prosperous

than my beginning; let me therefore trust in him in relation to all my personal, family, and congregational concerns -the Lord will provide. In the meantime, I conceive it to be my duty to wait, to believe, and to pray; to be particularly earnest for an increase of faith and patience, that in patience I may possess my soul, and believing, may rejoice in Christ, who is given to be Head over all things unto the church, the fulness of him that filleth all in all. Lord, do what thou wilt in relation to me, only grant me the seasonable and effectual supplies of thine own spirit.

Amen.

Tranent, May 26, 1790.-Nine months to-day since my connection with - was broken by death, during which time I have been in deaths oft-deaths more frequent and distressing (my father's excepted) than any which have affected me in any former period of my life. The word of God mentions a day of adversity, my lot seems to be made up chiefly of days of this kind. Let my soul rejoice! Reflecting that the Lord sees that sorrow is better for me than laughter, mourning than joy, adversity than prosperity. Let me be encouraged and supported, the Lord shall reign for ever, even thy God, O Zion, to all generations. The text on which I preached last Sabbath; there is enough in it; let me not cast away my confidence; let me humbly submit, patiently endure, and quietly wait, till I see the ́end of the Lord. Why should not I be willing to be any thing or to be nothing. I have reason to be thankful that through grace I have been enabled to retain something of a character as a Christian and a minister. Lord support me in this season of personal

and relative trials, grant me the sanctified improvement of them; help me to wait on thee in the way of thy judgments, and to live in the faith and hope of the Gospel, casting all my Christian and ministerial cares on thyself alone. Amen.

Tranent, June 21, 1790.-O, if I could encourage myself in the Lord my God! My discouragements seem numerous and increasing; they press on my mind, which is wounded and broken: if they are continued, let grace enable me to bear them, and to wait patiently on the Lord for the sanctified improvement of them. I am ready to say in my haste, all these things are against me; but why consult with flesh and blood? Let me believe in the Lord my God, so shall I be established; yet may I not observe with Job, are not my days few? Cease then, and let me alone, that I may take comfort a little. There is ground to hope in the darkest cases: the high and lofty one who dwells with the humble and contrite, hath said, "I will not contend for ever, neither will I be always wroth, for the spirit should fail before me, and the souls which I have made." Be comforted, be encouraged, O my soul! and trust that all these things shall be for thy profit. Be this my faith, my hope, my joy. Amen.'

Tranent, July 22, 1790. Fast evening.—Since this time last year, what affecting changes have taken place in my family and congregation, and among some of my nearest relations: But thou, "Lord, art the same, and thy years have no end." Let this be my consolation, in respect of past, and in views of approaching alterations. The fashion of this world passeth away,

why am I not weaned more from it? Why is not the future world more in mine eye and affection? Still my soul would cleave to the dust. Considering with myself, I see and am persuaded that in myself I am poor, blind and naked; but my persuasion is equally strong, that I have light, life, and righteousness in Christ. Felt, I thought, in prayer some warmth of affection in giving myself to and accepting of Christ as my wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption. Some sincerity in praying for my poor infant, whom I desire also to give back unto the Lord. The congregation was likewise in my thoughts, that the Lord who hath broken us with breach upon breach, would repair these breaches, and make with us at this time a feast of fat things. Since my own trial in August last, what heavy trials by deaths in the congregation! The Lord has done it; let me submit in silence, and wait in patience, till he explains his doings, that I may not offend as I have done. I would wish to be more deeply impressed with the divine sovereignty over me, his propriety in me, and right to do with me according to his own pleasure. In relation to this sacrament, my heart's desire and prayer is, that the Lord may be with me, with his servants, and people. I would go to the table, and to the pulpit, and house of my God, waiting, hoping, depending, and trusting in him, that my heart may be warmed, my soul comforted, my Redeemer honoured, and my God glorified. Although vile and unworthy, let me, let all, be favoured and accepted-let the Master of the feast be with us -Grant it. Amen.

Tranent, August 25, 1790.-This is the morning of that day in the week last year which dissolved the

short-lived connection between me and M. H. the occurrences of which, and the surrounding days, are fresh in my recollection, and painful to my mind. Although I remember them, and am afflicted with them, yet I am afraid I do not improve them as becometh a Christian. I feel dull and melancholy; when, if suitably exercised, I should rejoice in the Lord; but he knoweth my frame, he remembereth I am dust. In every thing I fail. Have some idea of what I should be, and some wishes to press forward; but, ah! I come far short; Lord help me, let me serve thee while I live-make me ready for my change-prepare me for a happy immortality-that to me to live it may be Christ, and to die it may be gain. Such is my desire and my hope.

ness.

Tranent, Dec. 30, 1790.-Since my last writing these notes, have much to record of the divine goodHave gone out, and come in, have preached at home and abroad-hitherto hath the Lord helped me. O that I were enabled to praise my great preserver, my kind Master, my gracious God! But, ah! what I would, I do not. I feel a desire to serve the Lord; this, I hope, is always sincere, sometimes fervent. It were well for me to be better acquainted with the pious effusions of the gracious soul; Lord increase them, and let me rejoice in hope of a time when I shall behold thy face in righteousness, and be satisfied with thy likeness. This day was observed as a fast in the congregation; prayed in the morning with some ease and readiness, but preached for the most part with difficulty and confusion. The Lord is Sovereign! Often I am most at a loss when I least expected it. Let this teach me to be always diffident of my own

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