Tranent, July 30, 1779.-Persuaded of my woful departure from God in heart and life, particularly in that sin which doth so easily beset me, I desire to look unto, and depend on the God and Father of my Lord Jesus Christ, and my God and Father through him for life and salvation, and for support under trials and difficulties of every kind, that I may meet with in my Christian course. Although brought exceeding low by reason of the actual prevalence of iniquities in my heart, yet I will trust in the Lord, with whom there is mercy and plenteous redemption, that he will redeem me from all mine iniquities, and yet help me to triumph over all mine enemies, by giving me the victory in due time. His word cannot be broken; the God of peace shall bruise Satan under your feet. I will subdue your iniquities, in the faith of which I desire to wait upon the Lord, who is faithful that hath promised. Although filled with doubts and despondencies, yet I trust, through the grace of my Lord Jesus Christ, I shall be saved. Hence, as a lost, sinful creature, I do devolve myself upon the Saviour, wishing to account this a faithful saying, and worthy of my acceptation, that Christ came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am a chief one. Just on this I rest.

Tranent, Jan. 1, 1781.-This being the first day of the year, I thought in the morning, while lying in bed, that I would spend part of it in prayer, confession, petition, and thanksgiving; in which accordingly I am now engaged, and find some stirrings of affection: that which particularly lies heavy on my heart, is the prevalence of numberless iniquities against me; the great unconcern and indifference that have seized me, owing to the sensible withdrawment of the blessed

C

Spirit in his kindly and gracious influences, (just on his part, deserved on mine ;) of this I am conscious to myself, by my lukewarmness in prayer, chiefly secret; by my small outgoings of soul after God in his ordinances, especially in the sacrament of the Supper; by my pride, selfishness, earthly mindedness, and many other ways; alas! how does the reflection gall me. O for his speedy, his gracious return, that I may have fellowship with God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, and indeed experience that God is good to Israel, and that the comforts of a life of faith upon the Son of God, surpass in sweetness and excellency whatever else may be desired. Lord I am thine, I take thee as my present, my future, my everlasting portion. With regard to my service in the Gospel of thy Son, Lord make me what thou wouldst have me to be, only grant me grace to serve thee faithfully, and to resign myself to thy will, whether I am called by thee to act in a more narrow or more enlarged capacity in thy Church; not mine, but thy will be done. This I beg may be my attainment to the honour of thy name, through Jesus Christ my Lord, on whose rich and boundless mercy I now devolve myself. ROBERT SHIRRÉFF.

August 5, 1782.-Spent some time in prayer, reading, meditation, particularly asking direction in reference to a very important step in life.

Tranent, Nov. 18, 1782.-Employed myself for a short time in prayer and reading, with some thoughts on my present tempted and deserted condition.

Tranent, June 2, 1783.-In view of the sacrament being dispensed by me in this congregation next Sab

bath, June 8th, I set apart a few hours of this day for confession of sin, and prayer unto God, entreating him in my own, and in favour of the congregation, with the people in and about this place; affected, although not as I ought to be with this vast indifference and unconcern about serious religion, touched likewise with the very little seeming success of my ministrations among them, I have attempted to represent our mournful situation to God-found some comfort that the work was his, and that he is more earnestly engaged in it than it is possible for me to be; in consequence of which, am convinced that all whom the Father hath given to Christ shall come to him; and since it is his providential will that I should labour in a very barren spot, I would desire to be submissive and resigned, using the means, and leaving the event to God.

June 7, 1784.-Employed a few hours in meditation, prayer, and self-examination with a view towards the sacrament of our Lord's Supper, meant to be observed here on Sabbath first, the 13th of June; perceiving myself a sinner ruined and undone, received comfort by turning my thoughts on the all-sufficiency of Jesus, and the covenant made with Him. I would hope, that notwithstanding prevailing corruptions, disallowed and disapproved of, this Jesus, this God is my God, and will be my guide even unto death, and my portion for evermore, and that covenant all my salvation, and all my desire; at least I would heartily wish it to be so, protesting before God, angels, and men, that I know no other way for my recovery, since the Scriptures assure me that there is not another name by which any sinner can be saved. The Sacrament I would celebrate, because the Lord

hath made it, and my duty requires of me to profess him before men, and promises spiritual profit to the worthy observers of this ordinance.

Tranent, June 7, 1786.-Fast evening tried to look into my heart. Ah! what confusion and wickedness are there; how prone to trifle in the most important concerns how vain, how languid and lifeless, yet not wholly without desires after a departing Godjust, Lord, on thy part, deserved on mine! O, the sin that dwelleth in me perpetually harasses me, and is often prevailing against me; wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me from the body of sin and death! This is my comfort, that I have all in Christ, of whom I would say, yea mine own God is he, in whom I trust to be more than a conqueror. In the exercise of this faith and hope, I dare not disclaim all connexion with him, but O! to be more like him, and more serviceable to Him. Amen.

Tranent, Sept. 4, 1786.-Prayed and meditated for some time this morning: found myself in some degree affected with the seeming unprosperous state of religion in the congregation, and in my own soul;endeavoured to leave both with the Lord, moaned out my complaint unto him, and expressed my sense of it with a full heart and watery eyes. Although when I compare one year, one month, and one week with another, how these are successively passing on, and yet I am still kept in deep waters, my proud, unbelieving and hasty heart is prone to repine, and to say this evil is of the Lord-why wait any longer? This I condemn as my infirmity, and would rather speak Jeremiah's words: "It is good for a man both to hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord." Yes,

let me hope in him-let me believe that he who hath cast me down, will lift me up, although on account of my wretched unbelief, enmity and rebellion, he might justly cast me down to the lowest hell. May the Lord hasten my deliverance in his time! My soul wait thou only upon the Lord ;-he only is my rock, and my salvation, and my defence. Proceeding in my plan, am preaching on the application of redemption by the Lord, the Spirit working faith in the heart of the sinner, and inviting him to the Lord the Saviour. O that God the Father, by the concurring agency of the Holy Ghost, would smile on and succeed my poor efforts to serve him with my spirit in the gospel of his Son. In regard of the little good I appear to be doing, I would be humble, diligent, dependent and prayerful. My conviction now seems to be stronger, that it is not by power, nor by might, but by the Spirit of the Lord. A great truth, which I believe and subscribe. ROBERT SHIRREFF.

Tranent, Jan. 5, 1787.-My ordination day-employed myself for a short while in prayer and meditation; felt neither life nor liberty in these exercises ; my desires were, I hope sincere, although not lively. It is now outgone eight years since I was ordained in this place; but ah! how little good have I been the means of doing. Although this seems to be a conviction rooted in my mind, yet my light and obdurate heart is but feebly impressed with it, of which I have had this day and formerly a distressing experience. Notwithstanding, I would desire to bewail before the Lord: while affected with the small effect of my ministrations, was at the same time somewhat desirous that the Lord would much more abundantly countenance and succeed me in them. O that he would ear