having done what appears to me to be my duty, in writing, in meditating, and preparing for my ministerial services to-morrow, I would account it a happy attainment to be delivered from all anxious and unbelieving thoughts, and to have my heart fixed trusting in the Lord. I cannot, I ought not, I will not, trust in myself. I will again say of the Lord, "he is my refuge, my fortress, and my God, in him will I trust." He is my lamp, and will lighten my darkness; he is my strength, and will strengthen me for my duty; why then, my soul, this heaviness, and why these gloomy anticipations? Chide thyself for them, argue thyself out of them, rise above them, and exult in thy God. Painful experience tells me at times of depressions and desertions; but the promise assures me they are neither final, nor of long continuance. "For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee;" his anger endureth but a moment, but in his loving kindness there is continuance, and I shall be saved. Let me remember the years (the changes) of the right hand of the Most High, and encourage myself to hope, that though weeping may endure for a night, joy cometh in the morning. The burden of Dumah is very descriptive of the varieties and changes of the Christian life: "Watchman, what of the night? watchman, what of the night? the morning cometh, and also the night: if ye will inquire, inquire ye: return, come." Yes, Lord, and I do come to thee with professions of humility and unworthiness, but with hopes and expectations of thy great goodness.

Tranent, Dec. 10. 1817. Wednesday, eleven o'clock. Must see the hand of God-would recognise it in present occurrences, and wish to acquiesce with the will

of God in all things that concern me, I feel at present, and have felt for some days past, much relaxed and broken in body and mind, as if my poor frame were to be shaken to pieces. Yet the Lord is gracious-found him so on Sabbath, particularly in all parts of my duty. He does not, no, he does not forsake them that truly seek his face, and trust in his promise. O that I could praise him for his goodness, and still rejoice in hope that he will remember me for good according to the greatness of his mercy. I am afraid I offend-I may be impatient, and may speak unadvisedly at times, but the Lord knoweth what is in me, and what I would be; he knoweth our frame, and will not be severe to mark our iniquities. Were it his will to strengthen me in body and mind, and to re-establish my health, I would that this new favour should be to him for a name, and to me for an occa sion of further usefulness before the time of my departure; but if it is otherwise in his holy purpose, I beg to be resigned to the will of the Lord. will but thine be done; yet, Father, if it be possible let this cup pass from me." But here am I, making David's choice, and presenting his prayer, fall into the hands of the Lord, for his tender mercies are very great.

Amen.

"Not my

"Let me

Tranent, Dec. 27, 1817. Two o'clock.-I feel still much broken and oppressed, but the Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in time of trouble. I do not see how I am to be able for any thing to-morrow, unless he is graciously pleased to interpose. I would not choose to tempt Providence, yet he hath so often made me strong out of weakness, that I am encouraged to go forward under many discouragements. 1 hope still he will be gracious, and fit me for what is

incumbent upon me. I would also have my eye to him for strength to suffer; my distresses are occasionally heavy, but his grace is sufficient for me; and I pray for the liberal communication of it, that I may serve him in my office, and glorify him even in the furnace of affliction. Amen.

Tranent, Jan. 13, 1818. One o'clock.—Of each of the various incidents of life, it may be remarked, “ this is the finger of God." What wisdom, what sovereignty, and what goodness, are displayed in the operations of his hand! One man has his trials of one kind, a second has his of another, and so on in an endless variety; but of all men it is universally true that they are of few days, and full of trouble. I must observe, and ought to praise the mercies of the Lord in his providential conduct towards myself. Not without many infirmities and afflictions, as may be seen in these little notes; yet the merciful agency of God is singularly conspicuous in them. It is wonderful in my eyes that I am upheld in my public work on the holy Sabbath, though sometimes so enfeebled and oppressed, that I can scarcely move or breathe. He gives me ability so as to be heard, and strengthens me for attending to my duty, so that frequently in the pulpit I forget my weakness, and feel myself strong in the Lord, pleased with his service, thankful for his kindness, and hopeful that I am not labouring in vain. I must regret that my inability for walking prevents me from seeing the congregation at large, and visiting the sick in particular, as I wish to do; but my blessed Master is merciful, and does not expect to reap where he has not sown. Let me be more frequent and fervent in my private addresses, in hopes that the Hearer of prayer will not forget the congre

gation of his poor, nor the weak instrument he conti nues to oversee them.

Have heard of the death of another of my fellow labourers, and of one who has been for some time visited with a paralytic stroke, both younger than myself in the ministry; yet the Lord spares the unworthy writer, and enables him to do a little, though far short of what is incumbent. Nor shall I die, but, one way or another, live and declare the works of the Lord, whose I am, and whom I serve. R. SHIrreff.

Tranent, Jan. 31, 1818.-I would be ever raising a memorial to the divine goodness-think myself sometimes so overwhelmed with a feeling of it, that I' want expressions to utter my thoughts, and anticipate the work of heaven, where we will utter the mighty acts of the Lord, and shew forth his praises according to all that we can desire. It is a persuasion habitual in my mind, that a life of fellowship with a gracious, and righteous, and merciful God, is the happiest and the best. I say this from any little experience I have of it, and would be better and better acquainted with it. Alas! that ever I should offend. Is there not a cause? When the beloved of my soul withdraws himself and is gone, then I condemn myself, and am ashamed of my unkind. ness to my best friend and benefactor. But he is a merciful God, who does not cast off for ever. Tomorrow I intend to preach on these words, Psalm cxvi. 7. "Return to thy rest, O my soul." To myself and to others, may they be spoken with power. Amen.

Tranent, Feb. 14, 1818. Saturday.-I would be for God, and if I have my life prolonged, would em

M

ploy it in his service and shewing forth his praise. To morrow the subject will be a lecture on the xiv. chap. of Job, and a sermon on Psalm xlviii. 14. "This God is our God for ever and ever," &c. I have spoken on similar subjects, and often used the same words in prayer, "That this God may be our God," &c. I trust there is something in them as applied to myself; and my desire is, that I may be enabled to recommend him sincerely and affectionately to the choice of all that may hear me, that they and I may have pleasing and appropriating views of him as our gracious, and righteous, and merciful God; the strength of our heart and the rest of our soul finding that satisfaction in him which is in vain looked for from the broken cisterns of earthly enjoyments. Amen.

Tranent, March 9, 1818. Monday morning.—The Lord is sovereign-he may do as he pleaseth-let me humbly submit to his will. Did not feel that enlargement in his service which would have been gratifying to my heart. Must however be thankful-though straitened, particularly in the sermon, I was upheld. He might have made my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth, and silenced me before all the people.. I purpose still to adhere to my master and his service, and will cherish the hope that he will be gracious to me according to his mercies and the multitude of his loving kindnesses.-The Lord will not cast off for

ever.

Tranent, March 14, 1818. Saturday.-No, I will not despair-I will look again to his holy temple. Feel a desire to please him; but, alas! in me there is so much corruption and carnality, that he might justly abhor me, and cast me off for ever. "But I will