found that the hopes of plunder, of promotion, of a lucrative appointment, or command, made up the sum total of the military ardour of nearly the whole of my acquaintances.

The course of the war threw the army, of which our detachment formed a part, either collectively, or in brigades, and corps, into situations which enabled me in some measure to judge of the military and heroic dispositions, if not of the talents, of many conspicuous characters; and I found that the issue did not always raise them in my estimation, nor in that of the army*. But it was not so much any incapacity or failure in any particular men that damped my hopes and raised my indignation; it was the gradual discovery, in proportion to my experience, that the seeds of heroic emulation, and public spirit, appeared almost wholly absent from every bosom; and that all men, old and young, great and small, pursued, worshipped, only filthy lucre, gross sensuality, and false glory; glory purchased by base connivance, vile participation, and servile flattery.

This discovery of faults in others did not, however, at all induce me to suspect that the

* There were some exceptions to the above remark; among which was Captain Wch; who with a rissalla of our cavalry, and a battalion, very gallantly surprised and defeated the Mahratta Gunnaise Punt, with 4000 horse, and four pieces of cannon.

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same, or worse qualities were to be found in myself; and therefore it only excited my indignation against society in general, and strengthened my retired habits proportionately. But an incident soon occurred, which gave the finishing stroke to my remaining good opinion of the world, and left me, in the midst of society, as desolate and solitary as a traveller benighted in the depths of an immense and unexplored wilderness.

To enter intó a detail of this incident would occupy unprofitably too much of my reader's and of my own time. Suffice it to say, that I discovered one of my intimates to be, as İ thought, an unprincipled rogue, in a low style, or what is called a blackguard. Full of pride, rashness, and self-conceit, I communicated this discovery to him, supposing that he would resent it as a gentleman is bound to do by the laws of false honour; and feeling gratified by the idea of fighting a duel, in so honourable a cause as I supposed it to be. But my friend knew the world much better than I, and found it very inconvenient to expose himself to be shot by such a rash and foolish zealot in the midst of his thriving plans to make a fortune. He therefore took no notice whatever of my communication.

This politic forbearance only raised my zeal and anger to a higher degree. These passions were also excited by a third person, a friend of both him and me, who was, if possible, still

more incensed against him, and not only communicated many dishonourable anecdotes of his conduct, but advised me to report his behaviour at head quarters, promising to assist in the prosecution; which he also did. I therefore reported his conduct to the commander-inchief with all the solemnity and vehemence of heroic indignation; he was in consequence put under arrest, and tried by a general court martial. In those days, general courts martial in India, or at least in our army under General G., were very different things from what they are at present. Prosecutors were not permitted to be in court after they had given in their charge; neither were they permitted to submit any charge, which was not approved by the court. Fortunately for the prisoner, one of the charges was peculation, or an attempt to defraud the Pay Office. When I began to open this charge, I was immediately silenced by the court; and on my making a second attempt, I was ordered out of court, and not again permitted to enter. What passed therefore I know not; but the result was the entire, and, I think, honourable acquittal of the prisoner.

He was pitied by many who were not acquainted with circumstances, for having become connected with such a dangerous enthusiast; but those who knew us both thought me only imprudent and romantic, but declared their

conviction that my motives were pure and honourable. I thought so too at that time; but I now see that my purity was only a fancy, and my honour was ignorant heathenish pride.

After this event I was received with such shyness and reserve by many of my former acquaintances, as showed me too plainly that they disapproved my conduct, and my notions of honour. In consequence of this experience, I retired more than ever from our world, which I began to regard even with horror; and as I had left England before I had found opportunity to make similar observations and discoveries there, I concluded that the circle into which my fate had cast me was the most profligate in the world. All my former bright visions of glory were then completely obscured, all my hopes seemed to be extinguished, and even my wishes were for a time absorbed in resentment, disdain, and despair.

Permit me, gentle reader, to venture a reflection or two, in this place. It now, in 1822, appears to me wonderful and mournfully ridiculous, that after all the various discoveries and detections which I had made at different times, of my own weakness and baseness, I should be able so entirely to forget all these humiliating piercing convictions of condemning truths, as to become thus vain, proud, self-conceited, and blind; even really to imagine myself

to be heroically virtuous, and a noble spirit; and upon the strength of this self-delusion to set myself up for a reformer and public champion.

Yet if I had been left to myself, I should probably have contented myself with telling the young man my opinion of him, and then dropping his acquaintance. But I was stirred up by one older and more knowing than myself, who had imbibed a fixed contempt and aversion for his character, and we sharpened each other.

Upon the whole, it is evident, that "the "heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it ?”—Jeremiah.

The violence of the various emotions which rent my heart was inexpressible, on finding that all my plans of glory and felicity, built on the foundation of the opinions of the Greeks and Romans, some thousands of years before, and as seen by me through the medium of romantic fancy, were entirely incompatible with the actual course and practice, as well as the opinions, of the present world. Yet there was no room for doubt or hesitation in my own mind concerning the truth. Generosity, public spirit, integrity, honour, and glory, must, I thought, be realities, Godlike realities! In truth, they were my IDOLS of gold and silver, which I devoutly worshipped in general like other heathens, and only rebelled against them on particular occasions of a sifting