Ghoft; and that, agreeably to Christ's teftimony, I "fhould never be forgiven." This fo affected my tender mind with forrow and unutterable diftrefs, that it could not be entirely concealed from the family; although I was enabled, even in childhood, to keep my exercises of mind much to myself. I think I must have been about eight or nine years old when it was thus with me; and as in my childhood I was feveral times vifited with fevers, which brought me very low, I was led to confider how I was prepared for the awful change wherewith I was threatened; and a weighty sense rested upon my fpirit, that my foul was not pure enough for admittance into Chrift's holy kingdom. Sometimes I would covenant with the Lord to be more circumfpect and watchful for the future; but the airy natural disposition again got the afcendency, whereby again an occafion for repentance would arife. My natural difpofition was very volatile, and my apprehenfion quick; and as my faculties opened, I delighted much in books of a very contrary nature and tendency to thofe which had engaged my attention in my childhood. I had a near relation, who, notwithstanding his having been divinely favoured in his youth, had flighted his foul's mercies, and pursued lying vanities. He kept house in the town; and through him, myself, and my fisters, had opportunities of obtaining plays and romances, which I read with avidity. I also spent fo much time at his houfe as to be introduced into amufements very inconfiftent with the fimplicity of truth,

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truth, and my former religious impreffions; fo that my state was indeed dangerous, and but for the interpofition of Divine Providence, I had been left to purfue courses which must have terminated deplorably. I alfo read history, was fond of poetry, and had a tafte for philofophy; fo that I was in the way to embellish my understanding (as is the common phrase), and become accomplished to fhine in converfation; which might have tended to feed the vain proud nature, render me pleafing to those who were in it, and make me confpicuous in the world. But the Lord, in his wisdom, designed to bring me to public view in a line directly oppofite to worldly wisdom, pleasure, or honour; and when he was pleased more fully to open to my understanding his great and glorious work of renovation of fpirit, I faw that I muft defift from these amusing publications and studies, and purfue the one neceffary bufinefs, viz. working out the falvation of my immortal foul and I esteem it a great mercy that I readily attended to this intimation. However lawful it may be, in proper feafons, to look into the works of nature, and become acquainted with the hiftory of former or prefent times, my attention was now powerfully attracted to higher fubjects; and had I pursued those lower things, I might have become as a "veffel marred upon the wheel." This is, alas! the cafe with many who have been divinely vifited, but who, not deeply and fteadily attending to the inftructions of pure wifdom, but feeking to be wife

and

and learned; in matters which merely relate to this prefent state, have not advanced in the fimplicity of divine knowledge; and although it has remained. obvious that the Lord's hand has mercifully been. turned upon them to form them for his fervice, they have not grown up to that degree of usefulness in Christ's church, whereto they might have attained, had they paffively abode the turnings of his preparing hand. Were the fons and daughters of our religious fociety, who are favoured with good natural understandings, clothed with heavenly wisdom, they would become and appear truly great, in the dignified fimplicity and humility of the fervice of the King of kings. Human knowledge and acquirements too often puff up the minds of youth; and indeed fome. of more advanced age pride themselves therein, when, as examples to the rifing generation, they fhould be clothed with humility. It was obferved of a truly honourable member of our favoured fociety, that he was a divine and a naturalist, and all of the Almighty's making.'* I have read very little on natural philosophy, and am not in a difpofition to boast of my acquired knowledge, of either human, natural, or divine things; but I may fay, that I have admired how by one gleam of heavenly light the understanding is opened into natural things; fo as in degree to behold, as at one view, the general economy of the divine Former of

* William Penn's Account of George Fox.

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all things, as it is difplayed in the outward creation. This produces adoration to him under the humbling sense of his power, mercy, and wisdom, as well as admiration of his works; and discovers that they are indeed marvellous, and in their full extent incomprehenfible; and impoffible to be traced in innumerable ages. Therefore, let not the faculties of his adopted children be fo improperly occupied in exploring them, as to prevent their advances in their various ftations in his militant church: when happily their fouls are fixed in the triumphant, they will know fo much, as for ever to infpire the angelic fong of "Great and marvellous are thy works, Lord "God Almighty, in wifdom haft thou made them " all!"

From these remarks I return to my education, which, whilft I was at home, had not been entirely neglected, as to useful and neceffary learning; yet, as through the afflicted circumftances of our family, I had been kept pretty closely there until I had attained my fixteenth year, my mother concluded to fend me to London, and put me for one year under the care of Rachel Trafford, who, with her fifter, kept a respectable boarding-school; not doubting her attention to me, as fhe when young had spent a confiderable time in my father's family and indeed fhe was affectionately kind to me; and, as a minister as well as mistress, I believe her mind was frequently exercifed for the religious improvement of her fcholars, which at times was manifefted by

verbal fupplication for them, as well as advice and reproof.

I improved much for the time I ftaid in the school, in some arts taught in it; and my schoolfellows behaved well to me; but being fo far advanced toward maturity, tall, and proportionably grown for my age, I looked rather too much like a woman for a fchool; yet fome of my fchool-fellows were older than myfelf, which I believe increased: my mistress's anxious folicitude for our preservation, we being (to ufe her own expreffion) a fchool of women. I foon connected myself moft intimately with my mistress's niece, who acted as a teacher, and with one of the fcholars, a fenfible agreeable wellbehaved young woman, but not of our fociety, who was admitted into the fchool to qualify herself in needle-work, for a fchool-miftrefs. As neither of them were much under the influence of religion, I did not profit by their converfation, in the most effential refpect. But after I had been a few months in the fchool, I was favoured with a renewed vifitation of divine love, and grew uneafy with my fituation. Home became defirable, although I knew it to be a houfe of affliction; and on my intimating it to my dear mother, my brother James fetched me there, fooner than fhe intended when I left her.

Thus far I have commemorated the dealings of the Almighty with my foul, manifefted principally in tender mercy; but now the day was coming wherein his righteous judgments were manifefted against all

that