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Whisk. Oh, matchless excellence! and must we

part?

Well, if we must-we must-and in that case
The less is said the better.

Puff. Hey-day! here's a cut! What, are all the mutual protestations out?

Fil. Now pray, sir, dont interrupt us just here; you ruin our feelings.

Puff. Your feelings! but zounds, my feelings,

ma'am!

Whisk. One last embrace.

Til. Now,-farewell, for ever.
Whisk. For ever!

Til. Ay, for ever.

[Going.

Puff. Sdeath and fury! Gadslife! Sir! Madam! if you go out without the parting look, you might as well dance out-Here, here!

Con: But, pray, sir, how am I to get off here?

Puff. You, psha! what the devil signifies how you get off edge away at the top, or where you will[Pushes the Confidant off.] Now, ma'am, you seeTil. We understand you, sir.

Both. Oh!

Ay for ever.

[Turning back and exeunt. Scene closes.

Dang. Oh, charming!

Puff. Eh! 'tis pretty well, I believe-you see I dont attempt to strike out any thing new, but I take it I improve on the established modes. So now for the under plot.

Sneer. What the plague, have you another plot?

Puff. O Lord, yes-ever while you live, have two plots to your tragedy. The grand point in managing them, is only to let your under plot have as little connection with your main plot as possible. Now, Mr. Hopkins, as soon as you please.

Enter UNDER PROMPTER.

Under Prom. Sir, the carpenter says it is impossible you can go to the park scene yet.

Puff. The park scene! No-I mean the description scene here, in the wood.

Under Prom. Sir, the performers have cut it out. Puff. Cut it out!

Under Prom. Yes, sir.

Puff. What! the whole account of Queen Elizabeth? Under Prom. Yes, sir.

Puff. And the description of her horse and sidesaddle?

Under Prom. Yes, sir.

Puff. So, so, this is very fine indeed? Mr. Hopkins, how the plague could you suffer this?

Hop. [From within.] Sir, indeed the pruning knife

Puff. The pruning knife-zounds, the axe! why, here has been such lopping and topping, I shant have the bare trunk of my play left presently. Very well, sir, the performers must do as they please, but upon my soul I'll print it every word.

Sneer. That I would, indeed.

Puff. So, this is a pretty dilemma, truly! Gentlemen, you must excuse me, these fellows will never be ready, unless I go and look after them myself.

Sneer. Oh, dear sir, these little things will happen. Puff. To cut out this scene! but I'll print it, egad, I'll print it, every word!

[Exeunt.

ACT III.

SCENE I. Before the curtain.

Enter PUFF, SNEER, and Dangle.

Puff. Well, we are ready, now then for the justices. [Curtain rises; Justices, Constables, &c.,

discovered.

Sneer. This, I suppose, is a sort of senate scene? Puff. Yes. What, gentlemen, do you mean to go at once to the discovery scene?

Just. If you please, sir.

Puff. Oh, very well; harkye, I dont choose to say anything more, but i'faith, they have mangled my play in a most shocking manner!

Dang. It's a great pity!

Puff. Now then, Mr. Justice, if you please.

Just. Are all the volunteers without?
Const.

They are,

Some ten in fetters, and some twenty drunk.
Just. Attends the youth, whose most opprobri-
ous fame

And clear convicted crimes have stamped him
soldier?

Const. He waits your pleasure; eager to repay
The blest reprieve that sends him to the fields
Of glory, there to raise his branded hand

In honour's cause.

[blocks in formation]

If 'tis your worship's pleasure, bid him enter.
Const. I fly, the herald of your will.

[Exit.

Puff. Quick, sir!

Sneer. But, Mr. Puff, I think not only the justice, but the clown seems to talk in as high a style as the first hero among them.

Puff. Heaven forbid they should not in a free country! Sir, I am not for making slavish distinctions, and giving all the fine language to the upper sort of people.

Dang. That's very noble in you, indeed.

Enter JUSTICE'S LADY.

Lady. Forgive this interruption, good my love;
But, as I just now passed a pris'ner youth,
Whom rude hands hither lead, strange boding
seized

My fluttering heart, and to myself I said,

And if our Tom had lived, he'd surely been

This stripling's height!

Just. Ha! sure some powerful sympathy directs Us both

Enter SON and CONSTAble.

What is thy name?

Son. My name's Tom Jenkins-alias, have I

none

Though orphaned, and without a friend!

Just. Thy parents?

Son. My father dwelt in Rochester, and was— As I have heard-a fishmonger, no more.

Puff. What, sir; do you leave out the account of

your birth, parentage, and education?

Son. They have settled it so, sir, here.

Puff. Oh! oh!

Lady. Had he no other name?

Son.

Of his, signed Tomkins, creditor.

I've seen a bill

Just. This does indeed confirm each circumstance The gipsy told! Prepare!

"Son. I do.

Just. No orphan, nor without a friend art thou-
I am thy father, here's thy mother, there

Thy uncle-this thy first cousin, and those
Are all your near relations!

Mother. Oh, ecstasy of bliss!

Son. Oh, most unlooked for happiness!

[They faint alternately in each other's arms.

Puff. There, you see relationship, like murder, will

out.

Just. Now, let's revive-else were this joy too much!

But come and we'll unfold the rest within,

And thou, my boy, must needs want rest and food.
Hence may each orphan hope, as chance directs,
To find a father-where he least expects! [Exeunt.

Puff. What do you think of that?

Dang. One of the finest discovery scenes I ever saw. Why, this under plot would have made a tragedy itself.

Sneer. Ay, or a comedy either.

Puff. And keeps quite clear, you see, of the other.

Enter SCENEMAN taking away the seats.

Puf. The scene remains, does it?

Scenem. Yes, sir.

Puff. You are to leave one chair, you know. But it is always awkward in a tragedy to have you fellows

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