17;

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"Do not err, my beloved brethren, every good gift, and every perfect gift, is from above, "and cometh down from the Father of lights." Thus my views of a christian's privileges and duties in this respect were much enlarged, and my requests were made known unto the Lord in a more full, exact, and believing manner than before. Though I still remained very ignorant in many important matters respecting the person, offices, and work, of the Holy Ghost; yet I had discovered more of what was promised concerning him, and therefore knew better what to ask.

My obligations to Bishop Beveridge must here be acknowledged.-When I first began to peruse his sermons, I conceived a mean opinion of him; and it was some time before I could prevail with myself to examine any further into his writings: but being now more advanced in my enquiry after truth, those singularities which at first offended me became tolerable, and I began to relish the simplicity, spirituality, love of Christ, and affection for souls, which eminently shine forth in many parts of his works. Indeed, I received considerable instruction from him; but especially his sermon on the real satisfaction made by the death of Christ for the sins of believers, was the blessed means of clearing up my views, and confirming my faith, respecting that fundamental doctrine of Christianity. On Good Friday, 1777, I preached a sermon upon that subject, from Isaiah liii. 6.

"All we like sheep have gone astray; we have "turned every one to his own way, and the Lord "hath laid [hath caused to meet] on him the

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iniquities of us all." I endeavoured to prove, (what has ever since been the sole foundation of all my hopes,) that Christ indeed bare the sins of all who should ever truly believe, in all their guilt, condemnation, and deserved punishment, in his own body on the tree. I explicitly avowed my belief, that Christ, as our Surety and Bondsman, stood in our law-place, to answer all our obligations, and to satisfy divine justice and the demands of the law for our offences: and I publickly renounced as erroneous, and grievous perversions of Scripture, all my former explanations and interpretations of these subjects.

This was the first doctrine in which I was clearly and fully brought to acknowledge the truth; though I had with no little earnestness for two years been enquiring about it; to so astonishing a degree was my blinded understanding filled with prejudice against the doctrines of the word of God! Hitherto they had been foolishness to me; but now under the divine teaching I began, though very dimly, to discern the wisdom of God in them.

I say dimly; for I was still under many and great mistakes, and very ignorant in many important points.I knew sin to be the transgression of the divine law; but I did not perceive its

odious deformity, as deliberate rebellion against God's sovereign authority, and an express contradiction to his holy nature; as charging God foolishly, with the want of either wisdom or goodness, in laying such restraints upon the inclinations of his creatures; and as tending to overturn all subordination in the universe, and to introduce anarchy, confusion, and misery into the whole creation. I had discovered that my best actions were defiled; but I understood not that this was the effect of a depraved nature, and a polluted heart. The doctrine of original sin, as the fruitful root of these multiplied evils, was as yet no part of my creed. Inconsistently I was an Arian or a Clarkist, in my sentiments concerning the person of Christ, and the divinity of the Holy Ghost. Some faint conception I had formed of the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit in the soul; the beginnings of it I little understood : and I continued to entertain an implacable enmity to the doctrine of election, and the truths more intimately connected with it. But my faith was now fixed upon a crucified Saviour, (though I dishonoured his person, and denied his Deity,) and I had a sincere desire of being devoted to the Lord. He therefore in mercy accepted his own work in my heart, and pardoned all that was mine; and at length extricated me from that labyrinth of perplexities and inconsistencies in which I was entangled.

About this time in the course of my lectures, our Lord's discourse with Nicodemus came again under my consideration. Notwithstanding much meditation and many prayers, I could not satisfy my mind about it. I was convinced some internal change must be implied in the expressions, "born again," and "born of the Spirit:" and, according to what I had experienced, I endeavoured to explain it; but I was still very confused in my views of that important subject, and had many doubts whether I were right or wrong in what I advanced.

Hitherto, excepting Leland On the Deistical Writers,' I had not read any book written by a Dissenter, with the least degree of candour and attention; but at this crisis I met with the first volume of Dr. Evans's sermons, entitled 'The 'Christian Temper.' I was induced to read it by the recommendation of a friend; but (such was my proud foolish heart). I opened it with great prejudice because I understood that the author was a Dissenter! However, this book came with a blessing; for by perusing it I at length perceived that fallen man, both body and soul, is indeed carnal and sold under sin; that by nature in every man living the reasonable and immortal part is destitute of spirituality, immersed in matter, and, by a dishonourable and miserable prostitution, given up "to make provision for the "flesh to fulfil the lusts thereof;" and, that man

must be renewed in the spirit of his mind, new created unto good works, born of the Spirit of God, made partaker of a new and divine nature, before he can possibly be made meet for, or admitted into, the kingdom of God. In a very little time all my difficulties about this matter vanished, and the truth became so exceedingly plain and evident, that, until I had made the experiment, I could scarcely be persuaded but that every person, who heard it rightly explained, must assent to it. This doctrine I have ever since invariably preached, with good effect, I trust, in opening the eyes of sinners, and "turning them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God." (Acts xxvi. 28.)

When I had made this little progress in seeking the truth, my acquaintance with Mr.was resumed. From the conclusion of our correspondence in December, 1775, til April, 1777, it had been almost wholly dropped. To speak plainly, I did not care for his company; I did not mean to make any use of him as an instructor; and I was unwilling the world should think us in any way connected. But under discouraging circumstances, I had occasion to call upon him: and his discourse so comforted and edified me, that my heart, being by his means relieved from its burden, became susceptible of affection for him. From that time I was inwardly pleased to have him for my friend; though not as now re