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The fweet and foul-ravishing communion I had with Father, Son, and Holy Ghoft, was to me instead of meat, drink, and fleep, and that the most pleasing and fatisfactory that I ever enjoyed. The actings and fufferings of Chrift in the affumed nature for me were fo realized, and the virtue and reconciling efficacy of the fame fo fenfibly fet home on my wounded and bleeding foul by the spirit of adoption, that I thought I had the person of Chrift clasped in my arms in the bed. Oh! the fweet intercourfes which, by the operation of the Holy Ghost, paffed between precious Jefus and my languid foul. Then was I made to know experimentally what it was to fup with Chrift, and he with me, Rev. iii. 20. While I was waking I was entertained with strange variety of interlocution or difcourse which paffed between Chrift and me, which did explain and unfold to me wisdom's affertions: When thou goeft, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it fball keep thee; and when thou awakeft, it shall talk with thee. Prov. vi. 22. During this, I continued in such a melting frame that the very pillowbier under my head was as if dipped in a river, through the great abundance of tears of inconceivable joy, which the fenfe and feeling of Chrift's love constrained me to fhed. When I found a neceffity of turning in my bed, I could not turn without my dearly-beloved, and incomparably loving Jefus in my arms with me.

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When I flumbered and flept, I was foon visited with most joyful and ravishing dreams of God, Chrift, the Holy Ghoft, the glory of heaven, and the unutterable blifs and felicity of those fouls who are reconciled to God by Chrift. This was very frequent and common when fleep came on me, after I had been fealed in believing.

And albeit, I never durft to heed or mind nocturnal dreams, yet they have fometimes had fuch a ftrange influence on me, that I have felt fuch delightful joy and comfort in my fpirit, that fometimes I have been at a ftand to think whether I had been afleep or awake.

It was a frequent practice with me for fome confiderable time, how long I cannot now remember, to arife in my bed when I awaked out of my fleep to bend my knees and lift up my eyes, hands, and heart to heaven, to laud, praise, and magnify Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, for the greatness and ftrangeness of my fo unexpected and unlooked-for falvation being but the night before, yea and every morning, ready to drop into final defperation of ever being faved. Oh! what a lofs was I at in myfelf, not knowing how fufficiently to extol and blefs God for what had now befallen me; I was even ready to quarrel with myself because of the narrowness and straightness of my foul which hindered that I could not take in more of God, and go out in more enlarged expreffions of love and praifes to him. For above fix months together I

could

could neither lie down, nor arife; go down, or come up stairs; pafs in or out from one place to another, but I strongly conceited that I perceived a guard of angels attending my perfon.

It cannot be expreffed with what fcorn and abhorrence I looked on the pride and gallantry of the family where I lived; their changeable fuits of rich and glittering apparel, with their choice meats, and fweet mufic, with other delightful paftimes, I looked on and accounted them but as fmoke and duft. The titles of worldly honour, wherein the rest of my relations did not a little glory, I accounted the fame, but a mere empty vanity.

Oh, think I, that my poor relations could fee, tafte, and feel what I do, how would they difrelish, and be ashamed and weary of these poor, perifhing, fenfual delights, wherein they place their de light and felicity.

When at any time I heard them talk boastingly of the honour and credit of the family, I could not forbear expreffing my contempt of the fame; telling them, to their very face, that the blood of Jesus, not the blood of my progenitors according to the flesh, was that which made me noble and truly honourable and that he or fhe, who were advanced to the highest degree of honour whereto an earthly king could poffibly advance them, if they were not washed in the Lamb's blood, the higher their honour and greatnefs is, the greater and more G 3 intole

intolerable would be the doom and condemnation of fuch, when by death they go hence *.

Now I began to difrelifh and discover what fmall efteem I had of the liturgy and ceremonies of the church, of which I had formerly been fo extremely zealous.

Three things chiefly occafioned this:

First, The apprehenfion I had of the purity and holiness of God's nature, which require a worship fuited to his own pure and spiritual being, according to that in John, iv. 24. God is a spirit; and they that worship him, must worship him in fpirit and in truth.

Secondly, I confidered that no worship could poffibly find acceptance with God, but fuch a worfhip as is ftamped with God's own inftitution, which I was then apprehenfive, and am now more fully convinced, the liturgy and ceremonies of the church are not, the fame being devifed by men, and impofed by human authority, without the leaft warrant from the word of God. Ifa. viii. 20. To the law and to the teftimony we are to go, and if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them. God complains that fuch worshippers, Ifa. xxix. 13. Draw near with their

* The reader may here fee the difference between a pilgrim in this world, who has Chrift in his poffeffion, and a carnal worldling, who holds nothing but Chrift's name in profeffion.

mouths,

mouths, and with their lips do honour bim, but have removed their hearts far from him; and their fear towards him is taught by the precept of men. Mat. xv. 8, 9. Therefore in vain they worship bim, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men; as the bleffed Redeemer fays.

Thirdly, The fad experience I had of the unfuitableness of such a worship to an awakened, and a renewed foul, while I was in a natural ftate, ignorant of God, and the nature of my foul, and things truly fpiritual. I was exceeding zealous in doing and performing that service which now I find is of little avail, either to a pleasing God, or profiting an awakened confcience: the Spirit of God having in effectual calling taught and convinced me that no worship or ordinance in religion can be food to nourish and fatisfy a hungry foul, but fuch worship as is inftituted by, and fuited to please God; being done in faith.

God will be found favingly of none but those who feek him in the ways of his own inftitutions; as it is written, Prov. viii. 32. Now, therefore, bearken unto me, O ye children, for bleffed are they that keep As new-born my ways. And again, 1 Pet. ii. 2. babes defire the fincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby. But this milk cannot be got from the precepts of men.

Soon after this, the care and providence of Chrift, my chief shepherd, directed me to attend the miniftry of Mr. Samuel Mather, with whom I afterG 4

wards

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